Tag Archives: code

Using the Toilet at Work

Using the toilet at work is always a bit of a conundrum. Each workplace has an unwritten code for its usage. Most of the rules are similar: don’t hog the bathroom for more than five minutes, try to avoid taking a shit if you can, and never pee on the seat (or wipe it off if you do). I work at a restaurant and we have a public restroom for men, a public restroom for women, and a bathroom by the break room for the staff. We essentially have one toilet for over fifty employees at any given point. It’s constantly in use. There’s almost always a line. Sometimes I’ll use the bathroom just because it’s unoccupied. I won’t even have to go, but I can’t pass up the opportunity. I’ll use it just because I can. Carpe Pee-um and all that. The most important thing about using the toilet at work is remembering to wash your hands before you go back to work. Especially if your boss is watching.

Critically Rated at 8/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Random Rants

“I Don’t Smoke… Cigarettes”

You move to a new place and you need to find a new weed connection but you aren’t sure how to go about it. All you need to do is ask if someone smokes and listen to how they respond. If you ask if someone if they smoke, they will assume that you mean tobacco and they will respond with a simple yes or no. But if that person smokes weed, they will reply with a subtle response: “I don’t smoke cigarettes.” That means that they smoke something else, and that something else is probably weed. Hopefully it’s not crack or peyote that they are smoking. Either way, it’s better than tobacco.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under 420