Tag Archives: camera

Taking Selfies with Someone Else’s Phone

It’s slow season at work so I get into a lot of mischief during my shifts now. One of my newest games is covertly taking selfies with someone else’s phone when they leave it unattended. You don’t need to know their passcode to access the camera so you can take a few random pictures or record a video without them knowing about it. I will take selfies and group shots of me and all of my accomplices, or record a quick video, and sneakily replace their phone without them knowing. Then you sit back and wait for them to discover it. Sometimes it happens right away, sometimes you have to wait a few minutes or hours, and sometimes it takes days. It’s always a funny reaction. There are a few rules to the game. Pick your targets well. Some people don’t like it when you use their stuff without asking. I wouldn’t recommend taking any crotch shots or capturing anything illegal. It should just be funny faces or middle fingers, nothing that will cause any distress. If you take selfies with someone else’s phone, expect to have someone taking selfies with your phone as payback. It’s all part of the game, so make sure you really want to play before you click the shutter button.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Showing You the Camera Button

I work as a server at popular restaurant in a tourist trap location. As a result, there are some days that I can’t even walk five steps without getting stopped to take a picture of some happy couple or a miserable family. It always happens the same way too. I’ll be heading to work with my headphones in and some guy will kind of flail his arm at me, almost as if he was trying to hail a taxi cab. He will lift up his camera, then gesture back towards his girlfriend/wife and family with a half smile on his face, then look back at you and raise the camera again. That’s usually when I cave in and nod, and he approaches me with the camera and points at the camera button. They always end up showing you the camera button. I know how to take a fucking picture. Everyone knows how to take a fucking picture. You aim the camera at whatever you want to shoot and then you press the button. There’s no need to point out the camera button anymore. It’s 2014. We all have it by now.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filming

So production is currently underway for the Critically Rated movie. What an exciting time to be alive. I can’t give you too many details, but it’s basically the story of a guy trying to get weed on his day off and it’s based on the hero’s journey. You know, when the hero goes out into the world and is presented with a quest and has to overcome three trials while dealing with archetypical characters like the guide, the mentor, the villain, and the princess. Codirector/Producer/Cinematographer Leonard Cohen and I are only a few weeks into production and there’s still a lot of work left to be done, but I feel confident that the movie that’s been in my head for years will finally make the transition to the screen.

Filming is hard. It’s so damn time consuming. You have to find a day when everyone can film. You have to decide where and when you’re going to film. You have to stage a scene and film it multiple times from multiple angles. You’re lucky to get a minute of usable footage from a few hours of filming. You have to worry about lighting, sound, the actors’ performances, and that’s the easy part. Eventually you have to edit the film to make it flow, and add music to enhance the emotion… that turns raw footage into a film. And even then you see things that you don’t like and think of things that you need to add. And that’s when you do reshoots and recut the movie to make it more cohesive. My film takes place in one day, but it will take more than two months to complete filming it, and then another couple of weeks to edit it. I can only hope that there are no glaring continuity errors. It’s hard work, but hopefully it will pay off in the end and I can put a shiny golden statue on my mantle.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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