Tag Archives: athlete

Older Than the Athletes

I remember my first year in college was the same year LeBron James made his NBA debut. It made quite an impression on me, not because he was the Chosen One or whatever, but because we were both eighteen years old and starting new chapters in our lives. His book was just way better than mine. It was kind of a turning point. When you’re growing up the athletes you’re watching on TV are older than you. You keep watching sports and time slogs on. After a while you’re the same age as the rookies, then you’re the same age as the athletes in their prime, then you’re the same age as the veterans, and eventually you’re the same age as the coach. Realizing that you’re older than the athletes is worse than a finding a gray hair. It’s like finding ten gray hairs at once. It’s your mortality slapping you in the face. And it hurts. Nobody wants to be older than the athletes. They want to be the athletes.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Heckling

Heckling is the act of harassing and distracting somebody who is trying to perform. It’s wrong to heckle comedians or musicians, but it’s perfectly acceptable to heckle athletes. It’s part of the game. Heckling is integral in rooting for your home team. A lot of fans enjoy sitting in the bleachers to yell insults at the opposing team’s center fielder or star quarterback. But you need to be clever if you want to be rowdy and yell. It’s lazy to shout out “Number 22 sucks!” and nobody will appreciate it. It’s better if you know they Number 22 is adopted and you scream out “Your parents never loved you!” In ordinary society that would be a big no-no, but it flies on the field. Yell out that you’ve seen his wife’s tits in a movie she did and that one of her nipples is bigger than the other. That kind of shit will get in his head. That kind of shit will make him drop the ball and commit an error. That kind of shit will help your team win. Heckling is glorified bullying. You want to make them unsure and unconfident. You want to make them cry. And you want other people to laugh at them too. Don’t feel bad about it. Those fuckers get paid good money to deal with drunken spectators trying to shatter their self-esteem.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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You Don’t Know Bo (documentary)

You Don’t Know Bo is an ESPN 30 for 30 documentary about Vincent “Bo” Jackson. Considered by many to be the greatest athlete of the 20th century, Bo had an incredible but brief career playing in the MLB and in the NFL. He was a natural athlete: big, strong, fast, with natural ability, and an arm like a cannon. Director Michael Bonfiglio combines footage of Bo’s athletic feats on the gridiron and diamond with interviews with Bo Jackson, his teammates, his coaches, and other people who witnessed him play. It starts with his childhood in Bessemer, Alabama and features notable events like winning the 1985 Heisman Trophy, being the only athlete to play in both the MLB All-Star game and the NFL Pro Bowl, the Nike Bo Knows marketing campaign, the hip injury that ended his football career, the rehab and ultimate return to baseball with an artificial hip… this is a pretty thorough bio.

Bo Jackson was larger than life. He was a professional baseball player with so much athletic potential that he took up professional football as a fucking hobby. He didn’t need spring training or practice. Just put him in a game, any game, and let him do his thing. This film lets you reflect on his greatness and makes you wonder what could have been if he hadn’t gotten hurt. This is another solid 30 for 30 production.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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The Olympic Trials

The 2012 Olympic Games are quickly approaching and the Olympic Trials have started. Athletes from all around the world are competing amongst each other for the chance to represent their country. Every athlete dreams of winning a gold medal, but before you get the chance to compete you have to qualify. Years and years of training and personal sacrifices depend on how well you perform… all the hardships you endured could be worth it, or you could have wasted your entire life.

I’m from America, so naturally I’ve been watching the U.S. Olympic Trials. I’ve only seen a handful of events like women’s field hockey, diving, and gymnastics. It’s not a lot of events, but it’s enough to start to catch Olympic fever. You start to hear the stories of the athletes and what they’ve gone through, both physically and mentally, to reach the point where they are now. I love when they show the parents and family members of athletes, seeing them laugh and cry with each success and setback. The drama is as real as it gets. You give up your life and your youth for the chance to compete and the slightest mistake can ruin your career.

Seeing an athlete overcome the fatigue and pressure and rise to the occasion and achieve their dream is inspirational. And it makes you feel lazy for sitting on the couch and watching a kid accomplish something that you will never experience. But good for him. I’m not bitter.

Watching a champion doing what he does is cool and all, but nothing is an inspiring as an athlete who falls down and gets right back up. It’s inspiring. It’s why people compete. You don’t have to get a medal to be a winner. The whole point of the Olympics is to represent your country and wear your colors with dignity, pride, and honor. If Cool Runnings taught us anything, it’s that losers can be heroes.

Making the Olympic team is like buying a lottery ticket. You can’t win the jackpot unless you buy a ticket and you can’t win the gold if you don’t qualify. And just because you qualify doesn’t mean you will win. I buy a lot of lottery tickets and I never won the jackpot. And a lot of people have qualified for the Olympics and never won a medal. I don’t know why I’m comparing a game of random luck to an event that relies on skill that occurs every four years, but I am. And you are reading it, so what does that say about you?

The Summer Games are way better than the Winter Games. No offense to all you bobsled fans.

Critically Rated at 14/17

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