Tag Archives: heckler

Heckling

Heckling is the act of harassing and distracting somebody who is trying to perform. It’s wrong to heckle comedians or musicians, but it’s perfectly acceptable to heckle athletes. It’s part of the game. Heckling is integral in rooting for your home team. A lot of fans enjoy sitting in the bleachers to yell insults at the opposing team’s center fielder or star quarterback. But you need to be clever if you want to be rowdy and yell. It’s lazy to shout out “Number 22 sucks!” and nobody will appreciate it. It’s better if you know they Number 22 is adopted and you scream out “Your parents never loved you!” In ordinary society that would be a big no-no, but it flies on the field. Yell out that you’ve seen his wife’s tits in a movie she did and that one of her nipples is bigger than the other. That kind of shit will get in his head. That kind of shit will make him drop the ball and commit an error. That kind of shit will help your team win. Heckling is glorified bullying. You want to make them unsure and unconfident. You want to make them cry. And you want other people to laugh at them too. Don’t feel bad about it. Those fuckers get paid good money to deal with drunken spectators trying to shatter their self-esteem.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Entertainment

Saying a Professional Athlete Sucks

If you go to any sporting event you’ll eventually hear some loudmouth fan taunting the opposing team or a rival player by saying that they suck. They don’t suck. You know who sucks? You suck. You’re the one sitting on your ass in the stands because you’re not good enough to compete on the field. Saying that the Yankees suck or that Matt Kemp sucks just proves how ignorant you are. Any professional player or sports team is a contender. They get paid to play a game because they are good at it. You can’t say that they suck. Besides, that’s such a cliché insult that it doesn’t even phase them. It’s unimaginative, it’s dull, and you’re better than that. If you really want to mess with a player’s psyche you need to do some research on their personal life and yell out vague threats against his kids and family. It works really well if you know their names and where they go to school. He can’t catch a fly ball if he thinks his kid is in danger.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Random Rants