Monthly Archives: February 2015

Mr. Sketch Smelly Markers

Mr. Sketch is a brand of scented permanent pens. I grew up calling them smelly markers, which is an apt description because they are markers that smell. Be forewarned: they smell great but they taste terrible. I was brought up with the main eight colors/scents. The scent matches the color. Red is Cherry. Yellow is Lemon. Green is Mint. Blue is Blueberry. Purple is Grape. Black is Licorice. Brown is Cinnamon. I can’t remember what Orange is. Mr. Sketch Smelly Markers are a gateway marker. You start by sniffing these in elementary school and you’ll be sniffing Sharpies by middle school, high school at the latest. By college you’ll be huffing spray paint. It’s evolution in action. What’s next? Flavored edible finger paint? That will teach the kids to stay away from paint chips.

Critically Rated at 11/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Suddenly Stopping While Walking

I live in a major US city with a lot of famous landmarks and points of interest. That means our sidewalks are littered with tourists who see nothing wrong with suddenly stopping while walking to take a picture or admire the scenery. They will be walking at a brisk pace and then stop instantly in the middle of the sidewalk without any warning or indication. You’ll plow right into them if you’re not paying attention. Then the idiot will glare at you and act like it’s your fault that you ran into them. They don’t seem to realize or care that they are the one at fault. They don’t know how to walk, but you’re the one to blame somehow. You shouldn’t be allowed to walk if you have the habit of stopping suddenly. It’s dangerous and stupid. It’s like slamming your brakes on the freeway. You deserve to be crashed into. It’s what you get for being dumb.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Hatfields & McCoys

Hatfields & McCoys is a 2012 History Channel three-episode miniseries about the legendary feud between the two families. It has a pretty solid cast, starring Kevin Costner as “Devil Anse” Hatfield and Bill Paxton as Randall McCoy, and featuring Tom Berenger, Powers Boothe, Jena Malone, and many other recognizable faces. It was directed by Kevin Reynolds, who is perhaps best known for directing the Kevin Costner classics Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves and Waterworld.

The Hatfield-McCoy feud was a nasty and ongoing rivalry between two families that raged for years. It started over the murder of a McCoy, it escalated with accusations of pig stealing, and it resulted in a number of fights, battles, legal trials, and deaths over the course of a few years. These were the days of pride and honor, and you were expected to fight if someone insulted your good name. This miniseries goes over most of the events that escalated the feud. You see why they started fighting and why they never stopped. It’s a story that can’t be confined to a two-hour running time.

It’s pretty solid for the most part. It has a tendency to slow down and lose momentum from time to time, but there is enough action and snappy dialog to keep things flowing. I think they spent a bit too much time on the love triangle between Johnse Hatfield, Roseanna McCoy, and Nancy McCoy. It seemed like they threw it in there to pad out the running time. Surprisingly, Kevin Costner doesn’t have the worst accent in the production. Bill Paxton’s Southern drawl is terrible, but it becomes a lot more bearable if you put it on mute.

I didn’t watch it when it first came aired on the History Channel. I only saw it for the first time a week ago on Netflix. It was good. I liked it enough to write about it. Check it out if you like Kevin Costner, Bill Paxton, docudramas, or lengthy feuds between families that aren’t yours.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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