Tag Archives: writing utensil

Sharpie

Sharpies are the preferred permanent marker of millions. Magic Markers can fuck off. Sharpies used to only come in black, but now they come in a variety of other colors too. They have a lot of uses: writing your name and phone number on personal objects, for arts and crafts projects, and for sniffing when you’re too broke to buy weed or beer. They can do everything a pen can do, but bigger and more extreme. Pens are mostly confined to paper like a car’s confined to streets. Sharpies are like the ATVs of writing utensils. They’re more versatile, they can write on more surfaces, and there’s a broader spectrum of users and uses for them. Plus they are ideal for drawing penises and swastikas on people who pass out.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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A Pen With No Ink

On the odd occasion that you need to write something down, you’ll grab a piece of paper and a writing utensil, either a pencil or a pen. You have to sharpen pencils, but pens are always good to go. For the most part. Sometimes they fool you and don’t have any ink. I hate being tricked and I especially don’t like getting beaten by a pen. A pen with no ink is beyond useless. It’s just a hollow plastic tube now. MacGyver wouldn’t even be able to do anything with it.

Critically Rated at 1/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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