Sharpies are the preferred permanent marker of millions. Magic Markers can fuck off. Sharpies used to only come in black, but now they come in a variety of other colors too. They have a lot of uses: writing your name and phone number on personal objects, for arts and crafts projects, and for sniffing when you’re too broke to buy weed or beer. They can do everything a pen can do, but bigger and more extreme. Pens are mostly confined to paper like a car’s confined to streets. Sharpies are like the ATVs of writing utensils. They’re more versatile, they can write on more surfaces, and there’s a broader spectrum of users and uses for them. Plus they are ideal for drawing penises and swastikas on people who pass out.
Critically Rated at 15/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young