Tag Archives: sharpie

Drawing Dicks on Magazine Covers

I was lounging in the break room the other day at work. I had five minutes before I had to clock in and I had to kill some time. There was a copy of some celebrity gossip magazine on the table. There was also a sharpie on the table. It was only natural that I spent the remainder of my break using the Sharpie to draw dicks on the cover of the celebrity gossip magazine. Anyone can draw a dick on a magazine cover and get a laugh out of it, but you have to be somewhat clever. You have to look at the celebrity’s expression and determine where to place the dick for maximum effectiveness. The illustrated penis doesn’t always have to be touching the celebrity’s face. Sometimes the celebrity is looking at a dick and sometimes they are trying to avoid looking at a dick. But you also don’t want to spend too much time drawing the dicks. You want it to be crude and badly drawn. You’re not making art, you’re vandalizing. It’s important to remember that.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Entertainment

Sharpie

Sharpies are the preferred permanent marker of millions. Magic Markers can fuck off. Sharpies used to only come in black, but now they come in a variety of other colors too. They have a lot of uses: writing your name and phone number on personal objects, for arts and crafts projects, and for sniffing when you’re too broke to buy weed or beer. They can do everything a pen can do, but bigger and more extreme. Pens are mostly confined to paper like a car’s confined to streets. Sharpies are like the ATVs of writing utensils. They’re more versatile, they can write on more surfaces, and there’s a broader spectrum of users and uses for them. Plus they are ideal for drawing penises and swastikas on people who pass out.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Random Rants