Tag Archives: two-ply

The Wrong Toilet Paper

I fucked up. I bought the wrong toilet paper. It could have been worse. At least I didn’t get one-ply. It’s two-ply but it’s not the proper grade. It’s the cheap kind that disintegrates with each wipe, creating dingleberries in its wake. I should have known that QQ Bear was an off brand, but I got duped by the cartoon bear on the packaging. It definitely isn’t Charmin quality. My butthole knows the difference. I will suffer through it until it’s gone and hopefully I won’t accidentally buy it again. You live, you learn.

Critically Rated at 3/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Toilet Paper Ply

Shit happens. And you need toilet paper when it does. But not just any toilet paper will suffice. You need to know which toilet paper ply to use. There are three types. There is one-ply (sometimes called single-ply), there is two-ply, and there is three-ply toilet paper. One-ply is a single layer of toilet paper. It’s rough and course, and it may cause anal bleeding. Two-ply is two layers of toilet paper. It’s softer, smoother, and more absorbent, and it is the most common type of T.P. Three-ply is three layers of toilet paper. It is really soft, the most absorbent and it feels like you’re wiping your ass with a cloud, but it’s the most wasteful by far. Everybody has a preference for toilet paper. I happen to be a two-ply guy myself. I have a frugal friend who prefers one-ply. He has the habit of converting double-ply into single-ply to make it last twice as long. I think he’s crazy, he thinks he’s thrifty.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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