Tag Archives: thick skull

Ask Before You Take a Chair

I was at the bar the other night (surprise, surprise) with some friends. There were about eight of us, so we grabbed a table inside and established our territory. Half of us got up to grab a few pitchers from the bartender, and I was one of the people that stayed behind to watch our stuff. And it’s a good thing that I was there, because another group showed up and took over the table next to us. And one bitch from that group started taking away the unoccupied chairs from our table. She didn’t even ask, she just started dragging them away. I actually had to stand up and block her path and ask her to stop stealing our chairs. I believe my exact words were: “Um, excuse me, can you please stop taking our chairs?!? We have more people at the bar.” She heard me, but I don’t think it registered through her abnormally thick skull. Another guy in her group had to tell her to give them back. It could have been a situation at that point if he hadn’t intervened. And it could have been easily avoided if she just asked before she started taking them. You should always ask before you take a chair. It’s what you’re supposed to do. It’s weird when someone is completely ignorant of social customs. You can’t just swoop in and grab whatever you want. The world doesn’t work like that.

Critically Rated at 8/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Use Your Fucking Turn Signal

Hey buddy, use your fucking turn signal. That’s awesome that you wanna turn here, but I can’t read your fucking mind. Nothing can penetrate that thick skull of yours. There’s no good reason to ignore your blinkers. Maybe you’re rebelling against public safety, maybe you’re just being lazy, or maybe you’re just a rude, inconsiderate dickhole. You have turn signals. I can see them right there. Even if they are broken you can still use those stupid arm gestures that they teach you in driver’s ed.

They install turn signals in cars for a reason. If you’re the kind of driver who consciously chooses to ignore them, do us all a favor and ignore your headlights too. You deserve to die in a car crash. Just don’t take anyone with you, motherfucker.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Random Rants