Tag Archives: texting

Not Knowing Who You’re Talking To

We live in an age of caller ID and ADD, so there are lots of times when you’ll end up having a conversation with somebody and you’re not quite sure who they are. I got a text this morning from a number I don’t recognize. The person mentioned that they bumped into a girl I used to work with, so I assume that it’s a coworker from the past but I have no way to be sure. I just kept on texting them back like I knew who I was talking to. I suppose I could have asked who I was talking to, but that seemed rude because this person obviously know who I was. So I just went along with it and kept asking questions about the girl the person bumped into. I had no idea who I was talking to but the person had no idea I didn’t know, so no harm, no foul. Not knowing who you’re talking to is a weird feeling, but I guess it’s better than not talking to anybody.

Critically Rated at 9/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Planning Trying to Plan Things Via Texting

You’re kind of bored and you want to hang out with somebody. So you text your friend to see if he wants to hang out. He texts you back and says he does. You text him back and ask what he wants to do. He texts back that he’s not sure. You text back and ask if he’s hungry. He texts back and says he could eat and asks what you’re in the mood for. You text back that you want a burrito. He texts back that he had a burrito last night, but he could go for a pizza. You text back that you had pizza for lunch. He texts back to suggest Chinese food. You text back and say that Chinese food sounds good. He texts back to ask where you want to go. You text back and say that place on Fourth Avenue. He texts back to say that works. You text back and ask what time he wants to go. He texts back that he doesn’t care, he can go whenever. You text back and suggest you meet there in an hour. He texts back and says that it’s not enough time to get ready. You text back to suggest meeting in two hours. He texts back to say okay, and that he’ll see you there.

The entire texting exchange lasted over ninety minutes, when it could have taken ninety seconds if you actually called him. That’s the problem with trying to plan things via texting: it’s not convenient and it takes fucking forever. Smartphones are both a blessing and a curse. It’s really easy to stay connected but you’re not really interacting.

Critically Rated at 5/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Calling Somebody and Having Someone Else Answer the Phone

It seems like everybody and their mom has a cell phone these days. Practically everyone has their own private line and number. If I want to talk to Billy, all I have to do is call Billy and Billy will pick up the phone. But it doesn’t always work like that. Sometimes Steve will pick up the phone, and I will be confused for a moment because I know that it’s not Billy and I know that I called Billy. I wanted to talk to Billy. I would have called Steve if I wanted to talk to Steve. Calling somebody and having someone else answer the phone gives you an uneasy feeling. It’s like a very mild betrayal. It’s probably why you text everyone instead of calling them.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Group Texting

There is a right way and a wrong way to send a group text. The right way to text multiple people is to write a statement: “The party is at 8 tonight at my house”. The wrong way to text multiple people is to ask a question: “Should we have the party at 8 or 10 tonight? And where should we go?”. My phone will start to blow up from all the people responding to your stupid text. You might have saved a minute by mass texting, but for the next half hour I have to deal with forty people texting me their two cents about why the party should be at the zoo at 8, or why 10 o’clock at the bar is more convenient.

Sometimes when I respond to a group text, someone else thinks that I’m texting them. They will ask what I’m talking about. Or they will ask who I am because they don’t have my number. And that’s even more stupid shit that I don’t want to deal with.

Critically Rated at 3/17

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