You’re looking forward to that new TV episode or blockbuster sequel to your favorite movie, you’re so excited and the anticipation is through the roof… and then you go on Facebook and see half a dozen spoilers and everything is seemingly ruined. Fucking spoilers. The weird thing is that people love spoilers almost as much as they hate them. They want to know that Harrison Ford is in the new Star Wars movie but they don’t want to know what he does. Spoilers are inevitable. As soon as someone sees something they want to talk about it, it doesn’t matter who is listening. The Internet makes it even easier to make people listen to what they don’t want to hear. I didn’t mean to tell you that Bruce Willis was dead the whole time, it just slipped out. Get over it. It doesn’t matter what happens, it only matters how it happened. A good spoiler only gets you more excited if you want to see it. Everyone knew the Titanic was going to sink but they still saw it anyway. It’s the journey, the experience that makes it interesting. That’s what counts, not that Keyser Söze and Kevin Spacey were the same fucking guy.
Critically Rated at 11/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young