Tag Archives: silence

Talking About the Weather

You know you’ve run out of things to talk about when you start talking about the weather. It means you need to try harder to make small talk. Nobody really cares if it’s hot out. They might care if it’s raining just in case they need an umbrella, but they don’t want to have a lengthy conversation about it. Talking about the weather is something that I associate with awkward conversations with forgotten relatives at a family reunion. You talk about the weather when you have nothing interesting to say. Can you honestly remember the last time you had a stimulating conversation about humidity? No, you can’t. Because it’s never happened. The only people who should be talking about the weather are meteorologists. And even they don’t talk about weather outside of work.

Critically Rated at 8/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Awkward Silence

You’re with a group of friends, laughing and joking and having a good time. The conversation is lively and spontaneous and then suddenly nonexistent. An awkward silence manages to force its way into the conversation and an apprehensive tension inexplicably destroys everybody’s ability to communicate. The awkward silence is usually only a few seconds long but it seems to last for a few agonizing minutes. Everyone is secretly wondering if they are the cause, they wonder if the conversation would still be going if only they shared one more anecdote or spouted one more quip. An awkward silence just means that everyone is doing the right thing. You don’t want to dominate the conversation; you just want it to flow. Sometimes it flows into a dead end and you have to start over. The best way to end the awkward silence is to acknowledge is and discuss it directly. When you notice the awkward silence, simply say, “Woah, awkward silence, huh?” The silence gets dissolved the second somebody resumes talking and your conversation about nothing in particular can proceed.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Early Morning Construction Work

If you use a jackhammer at 9:00 a.m. on a Sunday morning, you are a jackass. Early morning construction work is bad enough during the week, but it should be a crime on the weekends. People have the right to sleep in. They should have the right to kill an early morning construction worker. I know they are just doing their job, but there are a lot of jobs that don’t require waking up the entire neighborhood. Silence is golden so shut the fuck up.

Critically Rated at 4/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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