Tag Archives: awkward

Listening to People Having Sex

Sex is a beautiful thing, a natural part of life. Listening to people having sex is a part of life too, albeit a shitty part of life. You hear groans and grunts, moans and creaking, skin slapping, and heavy panting, and you hope that you don’t sound like that but you know that you do. The worst thing about listening to people having sex is that you’re not getting any. You try your best to ignore it but it’s a futile exercise. You’re going to hear it and it’s going to be slightly awkward when you see them the next day. But we all went to college, and I’m sure we’ve all fooled around when there were other people in the room. It’s kind of funny that we don’t appreciate listening to people having sex but we have no problem with other people hearing us having sex. You want people to know that you’re having sex. One of the perks of getting laid is getting other people jealous that you’re getting laid.

Critically Rated at 9/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Awkward Silence

You’re with a group of friends, laughing and joking and having a good time. The conversation is lively and spontaneous and then suddenly nonexistent. An awkward silence manages to force its way into the conversation and an apprehensive tension inexplicably destroys everybody’s ability to communicate. The awkward silence is usually only a few seconds long but it seems to last for a few agonizing minutes. Everyone is secretly wondering if they are the cause, they wonder if the conversation would still be going if only they shared one more anecdote or spouted one more quip. An awkward silence just means that everyone is doing the right thing. You don’t want to dominate the conversation; you just want it to flow. Sometimes it flows into a dead end and you have to start over. The best way to end the awkward silence is to acknowledge is and discuss it directly. When you notice the awkward silence, simply say, “Woah, awkward silence, huh?” The silence gets dissolved the second somebody resumes talking and your conversation about nothing in particular can proceed.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Thinking You Are Home Alone When You Aren’t

If you live with other people, you are generally aware if you are home alone or not. When other people are there, you act normally. When you think you are home alone you are more likely to use the bathroom with the door open, or sing a Katy Perry song with passionate off-key wails, or have a full on conversation out loud with yourself. And then you see your roommate staring at you with disbelief. The only thing you can do is play it off like you knew he was there the whole time and keep on singing.

Critically Rated at 7/17

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Running for the Bus

Running for the bus is always a bad idea. If you run for the bus and miss it, now you are out of breath and slightly sweaty and you feel awkward for your desperate sprint to futility, and you are stuck waiting a few minutes for the next bus. Even if you run for the bus and reach it in time, now you are out of breath and slightly sweaty on the bus. It’s a lose-lose situation and you will never impress anyone running for the bus.

Critically Rated at 7/17

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