Tag Archives: scrotum

May 19, 2013 · 8:34 am

Ball Soup

It’s a hot day, you’re running around, and you’re wearing jeans. You just inadvertently made a big batch of ball soup. Ball soup is as disgusting as it sounds. The main ingredients include your scrotum and sweat, with copious amounts of body odor thrown in. It’s pretty nasty and gets pretty rank. Ball soup is not something you want to see on the menu. It’s the main reason I avoid whitey tighties. Catching a whiff of ball soup will make you swear off the gym forever. They should invent a deodorant for down there. They should call it Scrote and it should be cedar-scented, a slightly musky scent that’s not overbearing. I’ve thought about this too much. Let’s end by saying that ball soup is gross.

Critically Rated at 5/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants

Tagged as , , , , ,

February 7, 2013 · 10:48 am

Poison Oak

Nature wants to kill you and poison oak is proof. Most of the US has to deal with poison ivy. I’m from California and we have poison oak. It’s pretty much the same thing: an innocent looking plant with leaves in clusters of three that produces an oil that irritates your skin. If you get the oil on your hands, anywhere you touch will get an itchy and painful rash. Irritation is kind of an understatement; it can make your scrotum shrivel up to resemble a prune. I once had it so bad that I couldn’t even run in P.E. class. It’s pretty frightening when your junk’s all shriveled and chafed and covered with red blotches. And it’s one helluva humiliating excuse note. Poison oak is nature’s way of keeping you on trails while hiking and from shitting in the woods at night. Respect nature. Treasure your junk.

Critically Rated at 3/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants

Tagged as , , , , , , , , , , ,