Tag Archives: race

Three Thousand Meter Run

I went to a private school that was kindergarten through eighth grade. Once a year there was a school wide track and field day. All the students from grade 4-8 would choose two events and everyone had their moments to experience the glory of competition. The most popular events drew the best athletes, I thought I could cheat the system and get a medal by choosing a fringe event. Instead of competing against fifty kids in the hundred meter dash or high jump, I chose the three thousand meter run against six kids.

I was in fourth grade at the time, making me ten years old. I was the youngest one in the race, the others were all thirteen or fourteen and had been running the three thousand for years. They dominated me. I was so slow and they were so far ahead and there was no way I could beat them. I forget how many laps we had to complete but it was a lot, and that was a long time to know that I’m going to be in dead last. I just put my head down and kept on running around the track.

After a while I heard cheering. I thought someone finally won and it would be over soon. I kept running. I heard more cheering. I kept running. More cheers. And then my name. I realized that the cheers were for me. My fellow fourth graders were cheering for me, rooting me on. They didn’t care that I was clearly losing. They just didn’t want me to give up. I can’t remember how long it took me to cross the finish line but I did it and I did it because of them. It was a great feeling. Like something out of a Disney sports movie. I never ran the three thousand again. I never needed to. I already did it.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Netflix Race

My roommate got his own Netflix account a month or two ago. He asked me to recommend a few shows for him to binge-watch. I gave him a few suggestions, Arrow was one of them, and he started to watch it. He was starting with the pilot episode, while I was already ten episodes into the third season. Each season has twenty-three episodes so I had a bit of head start on him to say the least. I would follow his progress, asking him where he was in the show and what he thought was going to happen next. He was flying through it. I was only watching an episode every couple of days. Pretty soon he was done with the first season. Before I knew it he was done with the second season. Suddenly he was on the third season and steadily catching up to me. Now it’s a race, a Netflix race. I have three episodes to go in the third season and he’s fifteen episodes in. I think I’ll beat him this time thanks to my massive head start but I’m never challenging him to a Netflix race again. He’s too damn good at Netflix and chilling.

Critically Rated at 8/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

Netflix Features

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Pedestrian Racing

Pedestrian racing is when you try to outwalk the other pedestrians on a crowded sidewalk. It’s human nature to compete with each other and you might not even be aware that you’re doing it, but the truth is that you’re constantly pedestrian racing. Watch any city sidewalk during rush hour and notice how everyone is racing each other, trying to get to their destination slightly faster than everyone else. You walk at a normal pace on an empty sidewalk, but you increase your stride with each additional pedestrian. You walk around old people and people talking on their phones and tourists taking pictures. You speed up and walk past slow-moving families and try to keep pace with the businessman rushing to a meeting. You don’t want anybody to walk faster than you. You want to be the best. Keep racing pedestrians and one day you could be.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

stock-footage-new-york-circa-september-crowd-of-people-walking-on-busy-street-sidewalk

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Asking Someone What Ethnicity They Are

Both of my parents are multiracial and I am a mutt, a mixed breed with multiple ethnicities. I don’t look white. And I’ve noticed that if you aren’t white or black, it’s apparently an open invitation for people to ask what race you are. What the fuck does it matter? I’m American. That’s where I’m from, that’s what I am. Unless you are a census taker, you should never ask someone what ethnicity they are. You shouldn’t even care. That’s why Latinos and Asians never ask white people what ethnicity they are. Because they don’t give a fuck. It doesn’t matter what a person looks like. You wouldn’t ask an elderly lady how old she is. You wouldn’t ask a guy in a sailor suit if he’s gay. So why would you ask what race someone is? Don’t be a census taker. If you’re going to be asking personal questions, ask about hobbies, goals, and dreams. Not about the color of my skin.

Critically Rated at 7/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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