Tag Archives: music

Playing an Instrument

I respect anybody who is capable of playing an instrument. I wish I could. I just don’t have the chops for it. I’ve played a few random instruments. In fourth grade we were forced to play the recorder (those plastic flute things), in sixth grade it was hand bells, and I took a drum class for a semester in eighth grade. Those experiences made me realize that I have no musical ability. None. At all. I have no sense of rhythm. I go off tempo even when I’m counting out the beat. But I’ve come to terms with it and I’m ok with it. Now I realize that most people can’t play an instrument and that’s a good thing. If everyone played music, everyone would be on stage and there would be nobody in the audience. Musicians need musically inept people like me to make a living.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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A Bad Cover of Your Favorite Song

Nothing makes you want to puncture your own eardrums with a dull pencil more than a bad cover of your favorite song. Your favorite song means something to you. It’s sacred. It’s something to honor and respect. The last thing that you want to hear is some no-talent singer screeching his way through the lyrics, backed by an off-pitch band playing out of sync. Your favorite song becomes unrecognizable, it becomes a tragedy, it becomes a farce, a joke, a disappointment. You can never unhear a bad cover of your favorite song. It lingers in the back of your mind, tainting the original album version and ruining it slightly. Maybe that’s why so many people hate karaoke.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Overplaying a Song

You’re cruising down the street flipping through the radio stations when you hear a new song that you’ve never heard before. You start bobbing your head and tapping your feet and let the melody sink into your brain. You can’t help but let the infectious beat get stuck in your head. You like this song. You like it a lot. And you want to hear it again as soon as it ends. And you want to hear it again and again and again. You’ll find it on YouTube, you might even be desperate enough to download it. It’s your new favorite song and you’re going to keep on playing it until you’re completely sick of it and never want to hear it again. And it won’t take long. The more you like a song, the more you overplay it, and the faster you get bored of it. The danger of overplaying a song is that you will always end up hating it. But you can’t help listening to it over and over again ad nauseam. It’s a vicious cycle.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Macarena (Bayside Boys Remix)

The Macarena was a horrible song and dance routine that took the world by storm in 1996. The Macarena was a glorious fad that is still considered to be the greatest one-hit wonder of all time. It’s still also Billboard’s number one Latin song and the number one dance song. It was huge and it was everywhere. It was all over the TV, the radio, at sporting events, and at school dances. You knew how to do it, your baby sister knew how to do it, your dad knew how to do it, and even your grandma knew the fucking dance. And everyone still knows how to do it today. That’s pretty amazing. And it’s even more amazing that it conquered the world without any help from the internet. This was way before YouTube and streaming videos. It was a viral hit before we knew what viral was. And it makes me wonder how big it would have been if it was released today. I’m pretty sure that Los del Rio would be hanging out with Psy in the billion+ hits club. It would be one of the biggest memes of all time. Instead it’s just another thing to reminisce about from the ‘90s. Oh god, how I miss the ‘90s.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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My Last Days

            My Last Days is a short documentary about Zach Sobiech, a young musician with a few months to live. It was released by SoulPancake (actor Rainn Wilson’s YouTube channel), which is fitting because Zach Sobiech is a YouTube sensation. In May of 2012, he was told he had a year to live. He spent his time writing down lyrics and creating songs as a way to say goodbye to his family and friends. He made a video for his song “Clouds” and released it on YouTube where it quickly went viral. Hopefully you’ve seen either his original video or the video with celebrities lip-syncing to it. Even if you haven’t, you should watch this documentary if you have twenty minutes to kill. It gives the backstory behind Zach and his inspiration for “Clouds” and how he searches for closure with the people he loves. I’m warning you now, you will cry a lot. But you’ll also laugh. And you’ll remember to enjoy life, to hang out with friends, to spend time with family, to tell the people you love that you love them… Live life like you’re going to die, because you’re going to. Zach Sobiech had a great life and I’m glad he shared it with us. My Last Days is powerful and inspirational and you need to watch it right now.

Critically Rated at 17/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Smooth Criminal by Michael Jackson

            Michael Jackson is the King of Pop and the Master of Music Videos. Or rather he was. He’s dead now. Everyone has their own favorite Michael Jackson video. Boring and cliché people are partial to Thriller. A lot of people like Bad, Beat it, and Billie Jean. Those are all great videos, but Smooth Criminal is the best Michael Jackson video. It’s a great song and he showcases some of his best dance moves including the moonwalk and the anti-gravity lean. I wonder how many wannabes broke their nose trying to do the lean. I’m guessing it was a lot. Smooth Criminal is not just a music video, it’s short film. And it has almost all the iconic Michael Jackson trademarks: he’s rocking a fedora, a slick suit with an armband, tape on his fingertips, he’s pretending to be tough and feigning street cred, there are strangers doing a spontaneous yet perfectly choreographed dance, a couple of little kids running around well past their bedtime… the only things missing are the glove and his hair on fire.

Smooth Criminal is a very stylized video (it’s actually the centerpiece of his film Moonwalker). MJ enters a 1930’s nightclub filled with gangsters and he’s somehow tougher than all of them. He sings and dances and prances around. He beats up some dudes, and he even shoots and kills another guy, sending him flying backwards through a brick wall. At one point the music cuts out and everyone starts moving in slow motion with a blue tinge. Michael does a little howling and finger snapping and bobs his head ferociously. A cat walks on a piano for some reason, the ladies start moaning, and everything slows down before the song explodes back into existence. It’s impossible to watch this video and not try to emulate his moves. Don’t even try to dance like Michael Jackson; you won’t be able to pull it off. Michael Jackson is the only guy who looks cool doing Michael Jackson moves. Everyone else looks like Corey Feldman during his MJ obsession.

            Critically Rated at 17/17

Written, Rated and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Forgetting Your Headphones

Portable music players are really good for listening to music on the go (obviously). It seems like everyone has an mp3 player or a smartphone with mp3 capabilities these days. But forgetting your headphones makes your mp3 player a glorified paperweight. What good is a music player if you can’t hear the music? Forgetting your headphones for your daily commute is annoying enough, but forgetting them when you go on a vacation is downright frustrating. Music is essential for any road trip/train ride/flight. It drowns out engine noise, loud passengers, and crying babies. They make it easier to ignore people. Without your headphones you might have to make conversation or read a book to pass the time. Or you could take a shit ton of sleeping pills, that’s probably more fun.

Critically Rated at 4/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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A Song That Takes You Back

Sometimes you turn on the radio and you hear a song that you haven’t heard in years. And the memories start flooding back. A good song can take you places. You remember the first time you heard it, you remember blasting it and passionately singing off-key with your friends, you remember 8th grade dances and high school anthems, you remember summer nights and road trips, you remember the one who got away.

One of the most amazing things about music is that it’s a time machine. It brings you back to a time when you were happy and free and young. A song that takes you back is a gift, a treasure, and a treat.

Critically Rated at 17/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Outside Lands 2012

The San Francisco Outside Lands Festival has come and gone again. The festival is held each year in Golden Gate Park and features multiple artists on multiple stages. The 2012 lineup featured such diverse acts as Beck, Of Monsters and Men, Foo Fighters, Andrew Bird, Justice, Alabama Shakes, Explosions in the Sky, Big Boi, The Kills, Passion Pit, Sigur Ros, Fun., Franz Ferdinand, Regina Spektor, Jack White, Santigold, Bloc Party, Dispatch, Skrillex, and the main headliners were Neil Young & Crazy Horse, Metallica, and Stevie Wonder. That’s a pretty good fucking lineup in a time when most festivals are becoming more mediocre. Coachella was so desperate for talent that they had to resort to booking holograms of dead rappers.


This is my fourth Outside Lands in five years and I live ten minutes by foot from the main entrance. I’m not trying to toot my horn, but I’m pretty much an Outside Lands expert at this point. So believe me when I say that this year was a shit show. It was fucking crowded. And that fucking sucked. I was there pretty much the entire festival. I got there around 1:00 the first day and was surprised at how busy it was. There were already lines for the bathrooms and for food. Fridays generally start getting crowded around 5:00 or 6:00, but it seemed like everyone was anxious to get in early.

I saw the two-man band Tanlines, and they put on a decent show. I headed over to the main stage, Lands End, to catch Fitz and the Tantrums, Beck, Foo Fighters, and finally Neil Young & Crazy Horse. Fitz and the Tantrums had everyone moving, even if their songs aren’t as well known. Beck played a lot of old stuff, including Loser and Devil’s Haircut, but he played a few slow songs in a row, including Lost Cause, which kind of put a damper on the mood. Dave Grohl and the rest of the Foo Fighters were great. They had a ton of energy and had everyone jumping and singing. They played a lot of old stuff and some new stuff, but everyone was feeling it.

Neil Young is old. He looks old. He doesn’t act old. He was constantly bobbing and moving to the beat, running and jumping, and generally sweating his geriatric nutsack off. He played a lot of old and obscure stuff, with a few recognizable songs thrown in to pacify the crowd. He refused to end songs and every other song had to have a ten-minute guitar solo. It got old real fast. He seemed like he was just trying to fill a two-hour set at times. I know you’re a legend, but you don’t have to be full of yourself. You’re not Clapton or Dylan… you occasionally hang out with Crosby, Stills, & Nash, but you’re not that cool.

Saturday was ridiculously busy. There were people everywhere all day long. It was almost impossible to find anyone. You had to be wearing something distinctive or be near a landmark or a recognizable flagstick. Security was pretty strict that day. They took away my Captain Morgan. That was pretty disheartening. I saw Geographer, Alabama Shakes, Big Boi, Passion Pit, and Metallica. Geographer was all right, admittedly they aren’t one of the bands that I listen to or have heard of before, but they were pretty good. Alabama Shakes was super crowded. They had a ton of people crammed together to watch them, and I listened to a few songs before my group got claustrophobic/pissed off and we left a little early. I liked what I heard, but we were too far away to get close and to get into it.

Big Boi was supposed to play Outside Lands before, but he got arrested and couldn’t make his gig. This time around he kept referring to the “technical difficulties” that kept him from playing last time, so he would take requests and also play new stuff. He played a few hits from the OutKast days like Bombs over Baghdad and Ms. Jackson. A little hip-hop is refreshing in a lineup like this. Passion Pit had everyone dancing and grooving along. Metallica was super loud and had fire. And a bunch of hits that everyone can scream along to. The fire was awesome. I’m still pissed that they shut down Napster.

Finally Sunday rolled around, and the sun still hadn’t made an appearance all weekend. We hoped that it would come out, but it stayed cloudy and overcast pretty much the whole day, with the occasional glimpse of blue sky. I started the day by catching the end of Allen Stone. What a delightful weird looking white guy. I stuck around the main stage for Fun., Franz Ferdinand, and Regina Spektor. Fun. played a great set. They really lived up to their name. Lead singer Nate Ruess was genuinely having a good time performing and it showed. They really got the crowd going, and that was one of the best acts of the day. Franz Ferdinand also got the crowd going, and everyone was having a good time. Regina Spektor was good, but it’s a slower style of music, so people were more mellow during her set.

Santigold was next on my list, and that was a great show. Everyone was dancing and singing and moving to the beat. One of the highlights was when she invited a bunch of audience members to dance on stage for a song. Bloc Party was next. They put on a decent set, but their sound was distorted. It got better as it went on, but it wasn’t as impressive as I hoped it would be.

Like most of the Outside Landers, I ended the day at Stevie Wonder. Quick fact of the day: Stevie Wonder is a blind musician. He played a bunch of songs, because he’s been around for a while and he has a bunch of songs. He even got up and walked around the stage being lead by one of his backup singers. It was very awesome and slightly awkward.

Outside Lands 2012 had a great lineup and lots of things to see, but it was really crowded. I mean super fucking crowded. At times it was not enjoyable with how many people there were. The bathroom situation was a nightmare. A lot of people (either the smart ones or the really fucked up ones) resorted to pissing in the bushes or behind the portapotties. It seems like Outside Lands is getting too big. I might skip out on it next year, but it all depends on the lineup. It always depends on the lineup.

Critically Rated at 14/17

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Forgetting Your Ticket

You hear about an awesome festival with a fantastic lineup on an ideal weekend and so you buy your tickets a few months in advance and request the time off of work. You mark the dates on the calendar and your anticipation builds as the days slowly pass until it is finally time to rock out. You’ve been planning everything out: you know which bands you’re going to see, you recruit friends to join you, you pack your bag with some snacks and stash a few joints and a flask in a hidden compartment, and you start to make your way to the concert. You’re feeling pleased and excited and slightly buzzed because you were pregaming. And then you realize that your ticket that you bought months ago is still tucked away safely in your drawer. Forgetting your ticket is worse than leaving your kid behind at Chuck E. Cheese. You feel like an amateur. You feel like you’ve failed. And you did.

Critically Rated at 4/17

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Clapping

Clapping is weird. Somewhere down the line humans decided that one way to show appreciation for something is to smack your palms together repeatedly to make noise. People clap for musicians, when their cousin graduates, at sporting events, when it’s Billy’s birthday, even at the end of movies even though the creators can’t hear your percussive compliment. Hey, you did something that I like, I’m going to hit my hands together a few times in unison with my colleagues.

Critically Rated at 10/17

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Jesse Frederick

Jesse Frederick is a musician who has written some of the most well known songs of all time. You can’t even turn on the TV without hearing one of his catchy jingles. You might not know who he is, but if you’ve ever watched Perfect Strangers, Full House, Family Matters, or Step by Step you have heard him. He wrote the theme song for all of those shows… that’s why they all sound the exact same. You’ve heard his songs a million times, they are a part of your childhood. And you didn’t even know that he existed. Shame on you.

Critically Rated at 13/17

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Tupac at Coachella 2012

So in case you’ve been living under a rock, Tupac performed on stage at Coachella. Ok, it’s not really 2Pac; it’s just a state of the art hologram of him. It gave me chills when he mentioned Coachella by name… the festival started 3 years after his death. It was a dynamic performance too. He actually has stage presence, he dances and struts around, and he lets the crowd shout out the lyrics at times. His chain swings around and his clothes move naturally.

Snoop comes out, and you see the two of them onstage again, interacting and doing their thing. It must have been weird as hell for Snoop to perform with him again. It seems like they are actually playing off each other. At the end of the set, Tupac stands in triumph and then disappears in a flash of light, and his glowing remains fade away.

Tupac is a legend, larger than life. A bunch of people already thought that he faked his death and is just hiding out somewhere. This defiantly won’t clear up any confusion. There is a whole generation of 2Pac fans that never got to experience one of his shows. This new technology is as close as you can get to seeing him live. It’s eerie, it’s haunting, it’s mesmerizing.

The implications of this new technology are amazing. Whole virtual concerts with ghosts rocking out with living legends. Imagine see Paul and Ringo jamming with John and George again. It could happen, it should happen. You can create the ultimate super group with all the members of the 27 Club: Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison, Kurt Cobain, and Amy Winehouse. You can even reanimate the Rolling Stones.

You can use the hologram technology for things other than music too. You could record a Broadway show and replay it like it’s a film. Imagine museums where they have dinosaurs roaming around and over-scaled insects flying around. Imagine Skype acquiring hologram technology and how much more awesome video chats would be. You could also make your own R2-D2 unit complete with hologram Princess Leia.

For now, we must be content with Virtual Tupac. And that’s pretty amazing. The future is now. Check out the video. Even if you aren’t a Tupac fan, it will still give you goosebumps.

Critically Rated at 16/17

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Tangled Headphones

I like music. I really like listening to it. With the beats, and the notes, and the occasional lyrics… music is awesome. I like to listen to music when I’m in public or on the bus, but I don’t like disturbing people. In these situations I uses headphones, so I can privately listen to my music without bothering anyone around me. I am respectful like that.

But my headphones always get tangled. I have those shitty white Apple buds that hurt your ears if you leave them in too long. It doesn’t matter if I wrap the cord around my iPod, or if I coil it up like a rope. They become tangled as soon as I put them in my pocket. Sometimes they even get knotted and tied up. I just want to throw on my tunes and relax. It’s kind of hard to do that when your headphones are constantly conspiring against you. Fuck you tangled headphones. You ruined Christmas.

Critically Rated at 2/17

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