You’re not a real nerd if you’ve never wished that lightsabers were real. They are the ultimate badass sci-fi weapon. It’s a fucking sword made of laserbeams! It can slice through almost anything except for another lightsaber. Which brings me to my next point: Everybody always wants one lightsaber and that’s stupid. You need two lightsabers. Half the fun in lightsabers is hearing the sound of them clashing together, and you have Ben Burtt to thank for that. He’s the sound designer who created the distinctive humming and menacing crackling sound effects that made the lightsabers seem real. They look badass but they sound even cooler. No Star Wars movie is complete without a lightsaber battle, and no childhood is complete without a mock lightsaber battle. I could nerd out and tell you all about the mythology of the Jedi’s preferred weapon, but I think you should explore Wookieepedia for yourself.
Critically Rated at 17/17
Written, Rated and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young
The Empire Strikes Back is the best chapter in the Star Wars saga and one of the best sequels of all time. George Lucas hands the directing responsibilities to Irvin Kershner, and the resulting performances from the actors are more dynamic and layered. This sequel takes everything good about the original and expands upon it. It’s faster, darker, and more interesting. Plus it has a better, more intense lightsaber duel.
The main characters all return, and we meet a few new characters: Yoda and Lando. Billy Dee Williams plays the shifty Lando Calrissian, a former friend of Han’s. Lando is cool, but it’s all about Yoda. Muppet guru Frank Oz provides the voice and brings Yoda to life. The real Yoda is a puppet, not a computer animated abomination with a little lightsaber.
The Empire Strikes Back is a little different from most blockbusters. The big action scene happens in the beginning with the invasion of Hoth. The film ends with an emotional climax. Han Solo is trapped in carbonite and sent to Jabba the Hutt and you find out that Darth Vader is Luke’s dad. I really hope you knew that already.
Star Wars was a revolutionary film that changed cinema in a lot of ways. The Empire Strike Back is step forward for the franchise. It’s more adult and it has deeper themes. It still has one of the best cliffhanger endings ever. You want to watch Return of the Jedi as soon as the credits start to roll.
The only thing that weirds me out about this movie is when Leia made out with Luke. Galactic incest is still incest.
Critically Rated at 16/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young