Tag Archives: job

Everybody is Being a Jerk Today!

I had a difficult coworker a few years ago. She was one of those people that are simply hard to deal with. She thought she was the shit and she wasn’t, so she didn’t really fit in. I remember her complaining once, telling me that “Everybody is being a jerk today!” I like to use that story as a teaching moment. If you think that everybody is being a jerk, you are the jerk. If you have a problem with everybody, you are the problem. She didn’t last much longer and she eventually quit and found another job. She does that every few months. I can only assume it’s because everybody is still being a jerk to her.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Working a Double

Working a double is when you work two shifts on the same day. Working a double shift is taxing on the body but rewarding on the paycheck. That overtime pay is one hell of a motivator. The best way to get through a double is avoid looking at the clock. A watched pot never boils. The more you think about the time, the slower it ticks by. Nobody really wants to work, so working a single shift is bad enough. Working two shifts in a day gives you a valid excuse to grumble and complain. You have the right to bitch… after all, you just worked a double! Some people work doubles a few times a week. That’s a good way to make a lot of money, but it may cost you your sanity. You’ll definitely get a gray hair or two. Maybe even a wrinkle. Doubles are stressful. And if they aren’t, you aren’t working hard enough.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Weird Workplace Acronym

Anyone who has ever seen Office Space knows that we’re putting coversheets on all the TPS reports now (unless you haven’t seen the memo). What the fuck are TPS reports? Well, it doesn’t matter what TPS stands for. It’s just another weird workplace acronym. Practically every job has a weird workplace acronym of their own. Some jobs have more than one. I’m sure your job as an acronym or two that is always a topic of discussion at the water cooler or the bar after work. My job has SOAP reports. They break down sales, comps, voids, etc. and rank each employee. I don’t like SOAP. I will not be defined by SOAP. I don’t believe in SOAP.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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National Waiters and Waitresses Day

May 21st is National Waiters and Waitresses Day. It’s not as esteemed as Mother’s Day or Secretary’s Day, but it’s still a day to acknowledge the simple fact that your server is a person and deserves a little respect. How much respect? Preferably 20%. But they wouldn’t mind more. I’m a server and I love what I do. I meet people from all over the world, I work with some of the coolest and craziest motherfuckers I’ve ever met, and I don’t dread going to work. It’s fun, it’s fast paced, and every shift ends with cash in my pocket. I don’t have to wait two weeks for a paycheck because every day is pay day. I’ve grown accustomed to the server lifestyle. The industry gets in your blood. We deserve a holiday of our own, but we are willing to share. May 21st is also National Memo Day, so make a note of that.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Application Survey Questionnaires

Job hunting sucks, and Application Survey Questionnaires are a big reason why. It’s not enough to have a resume with years of experience with a nice cover letter anymore. Now a lot of businesses have an Application Survey Questionnaire that you’re required to fill out. They’ll ask you a series of questions about whether or not you consider yourself to be a leader, if you are willing to take directions and criticism, and how you feel about personal problems in a professional environment.  It’s filled with tricks and traps designed to reveal your real personality and your character flaws. They’ll ask the same question a few different ways though out the survey in the hopes that you’ll answer it wrong at least once. It’s a bureaucratic way to sift through hundreds of applications, and lots of potential candidates are rejected because they don’t take tests well. And they are time consuming, so you’ll spend forty minutes filling out an application for a job you know you won’t get because you suck at Application Survey Questionnaires. I consider myself lucky because I already have a job (I’m just looking for a second one). I’m not feeling the pressure of a real job hunt. To all those on the job hunt: I wish you well, it’s a jungle out there.

Critically Rated at 3/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Working on Christmas

A lot of people view Christmas as the most important holiday of the year, a time for family and friends, of food, laughter, and presents. But it’s also just another day and that means a lot of people have to work on Christmas, myself included. It’s not a bad thing. I’m not going to mope and feel sorry for myself. I’m just going to go to work and make money (hopefully a lot of money if people are feeling the Christmas spirit). I actually want to work. I get paid double time and I have a longer shift.  Working on Christmas has been my holiday tradition for a few years now. I’m still going to celebrate Christmas with my family, it just won’t be on the 25th. Ain’t no thang as long as I get presents. And isn’t that what Christmas is all about?

Critically Rated at 10/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Pay Day

Pay Day is the day that you get paid. It’s the day that you can spoil yourself a little bit and indulge a little more.  After all, you earned it. It’s the day that reminds yourself of why you work in the first place. You work to get money, and you get that money on Pay Day. It usually comes once each fortnight or twice a month (I know that a fortnight means two weeks, but I never get to use that word and I wanted to be pretentious). Pay Day means that you can afford to go out and spend your money a little more frivolously. You probably shouldn’t, but if you’re going to waste money that’s the day to do it. Pay Day is when you go out for celebratory and meaningless cocktails with your coworkers. It’s when you buy that gadget you’ve been eyeing. It’s when you splurge and buy a few new shirts to add to your wardrobe. It’s when you buy your kid medicine so she stops coughing and keeping you up at night. Pay Day is one of the few times that a regular Joe Schlub feels like Donald Trump. Pay Day is what keeps capitalism alive. All hail the Pay Day.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

 

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Being On-Call

You get scheduled shifts for when you are supposed to work. Sometimes you’re a scheduled as an On-Call. That means that you have to call in and ask if they need to work that day. You might have to work if someone who was scheduled to work that day called out or if it’s going to be really busy. Being On-Call sucks. If you assume you won’t get called in and make plans, then you’ll be called in. If you plan on working, they won’t need you. It’s a catch-22. You can’t win.

Critically Rated at 4/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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