Tag Archives: the yankees

Saying a Professional Athlete Sucks

If you go to any sporting event you’ll eventually hear some loudmouth fan taunting the opposing team or a rival player by saying that they suck. They don’t suck. You know who sucks? You suck. You’re the one sitting on your ass in the stands because you’re not good enough to compete on the field. Saying that the Yankees suck or that Matt Kemp sucks just proves how ignorant you are. Any professional player or sports team is a contender. They get paid to play a game because they are good at it. You can’t say that they suck. Besides, that’s such a cliché insult that it doesn’t even phase them. It’s unimaginative, it’s dull, and you’re better than that. If you really want to mess with a player’s psyche you need to do some research on their personal life and yell out vague threats against his kids and family. It works really well if you know their names and where they go to school. He can’t catch a fly ball if he thinks his kid is in danger.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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The Yankees

The New York Yankees have won the World Series 27 times with forty appearances. That’s more than any other MLB team. The St. Louis Cardinals are a distant second with 11 World Series titles with eighteen appearances. That’s how dominant they are. That’s also why you either love the Yankees or hate the Yankees. You have no choice but to respect them. They are good at baseball and they are good for baseball.

            You expect to get into the playoffs if you’re a Yankees fan. If you are a fan of any other team, it’s a great season if you just make it to the playoffs. And if you advance, that’s even more exciting. Yankees fans consider it a losing season if they don’t win the World Series. The Yankees are the villains of Major League Baseball. So it’s sad if you’re a Yankees fan if they got knocked out, but every other baseball fan is happy. A loss for the Yankees is a win for everybody.

The Yankees are like your older brother who always dominates you at air hockey. After a while you just get frustrated at always getting your ass handed to you. Fuck air hockey and fuck the Yankees.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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