Tag Archives: google

March 21, 2014 · 9:26 am

Googleable

Googleable is a perfectly valid word that has yet to become approved and officially a part of the English language. It’s a word that relates to how effectively you can search for something on Google. For instance, asking what Googleable means is Googleable, but the meaning of life is not Googleable because nobody knows the meaning of life (and even if they did, they wouldn’t put in on Google, you have to find the meaning of life for yourself). CriticallyRated.com is Googleable, but you might have to search for a while before you find it. I don’t get how d’oh is in the real dictionary and how Googleable is only in the Urban Dictionary, but I don’t make the dictionary; I just use it to correct other people’s spelling. The only way to make Googleable an official word is to have everyone start using it. Together we can change the dictionary and change the world.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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August 22, 2013 · 8:30 am

Googling Yourself

Googling yourself is when you go to Google.com and search for your name. You’ll end up finding some random shit of yours that you totally forgot about, like crappy poetry about high school from your LiveJournal days or photos from your abandoned MySpace account. You’ll also discover that a lot of people share the same name as you, and most of those people seem to have a better life than you. Everyone Googles themself at some point and you have to use Google to do it. You never hear anyone say that they Binged themself or Lycosed themself. That’s just absurd. It’s Google or bust. So Google yourself and see what your name means to the world. If you can’t find anything of you or about you, that means that you don’t contribute to the Internet much. If you died tomorrow, you would be forgotten. And nobody will go to your funeral. But on the bright side, your eulogy will probably show up on Google.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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October 28, 2012 · 10:36 am

Slow Internet Connection

Some people rely on the Internet to make a living. I use it to kill time. So I get fucking frustrated when my sites aren’t loading fast enough. I love the Internet. I’ve paid my dues. I lived with 56k and dial-up modems and downloading a song for twenty minutes and yelling at my mom for picking up the phone and kicking me offline. Now everything is wireless and everything is 3G or 4G. It’s 2012. It’s the Future. Most sites load instantly most of the time, but every once in a while my router will pretend like it’s 1997 and run slower than a fat kid at recess. My iPhone fails me occasionally too. No bars means no reception which means I’m disconnected from the world. It’s 2012. Waiting thirty seconds for anything is unacceptable and Google needs to hurry up. Fucking load already.

Critically Rated at 5/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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August 8, 2012 · 8:18 am

Killing Time on the Internet

There are quite a few websites on the Internet these days. Over a thousand by some estimates. So while in the old days when people would go outside or socialize with a friend face to face, these days people surf the World Wide Web. Killing time on the Internet is quickly becoming a pastime. Instant gratification is supremely satisfying. If you are unsure how to pass time before work or bedtime, there’s YouTube and Google and Wikipedia and Facebook. For some people there’s still AOL. I don’t know why, but it’s still there. There’s a lot of porn out there too apparently. I’m going to have to look into that.

Critically Rated at 15/17

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