I live in San Francisco and parking spaces are hard to come by. It’s not uncommon to see two or three cars fighting for a single spot. So you have to be able to park if you’re gonna drive in the city. And if you can’t parallel park then you can’t park at all. You can always spot a tourist based on how long it takes them to park. Watching someone fail at parking would be the ultimate reality show. Each futile attempt becomes increasingly sloppy, and you would see the driver’s frustration rising and exploding into rage. At a certain point it stops being entertainment and you start to feel bad for the driver. It’s like watching a goldfish flopping on the ground next to its tank. You want to plop the little guy back in his bowl, just like you wanna go over and park the car for him. But you have to refrain yourself from helping him. If you can’t park, then you can’t drive, and if you can’t drive you shouldn’t own a fucking car. You shouldn’t help goldfish park, sometimes you just gotta let those fuckers flop around.
Goldfish Parmesan are the Parmesan cheese-flavored version of Pepperidge Farm’s famous fish-shaped baked snack crackers. They taste kind of bland when compared to the other flavors of Goldfish. They don’t taste cheesy at all, which is ok because processed cheese flavor can sometimes be overwhelming and slightly disgusting. It’s impossible to look tough when you’re eating Goldfish. Little smiling fishlike snacks aren’t that intimidating for some reason. Goldfish Parmesan is decent, but more flavor would be nice. I’ll stick with the classic Cheddar flavor for now.
Ahhhh delicious Goldfish crackers, a staple of childhood. Good crunchy, cheddar cheese flavored crackers shaped like little fishies. Some of them are even smiling. There’s a few ways to eat them. You can shove a whole handful in your mouth, you can eat them one at a time. The most fun way is to either bite off their head or tail first just to make them suffer a little bit. If you have true masticative skills you can bite them cleanly in half, so you have two symmetric half fish. Not greasy, but you will have some finger residue if you eat a lot of them.
criticallyrated 