Tag Archives: cracker

Ritz Cracker Sandwiches with Peanut Butter

Ritz Cracker Sandwiches with Peanut Butter are prepackaged Ritz crackers made with real peanut butter. They are great if you like Ritz crackers with peanut butter but are too lazy to put peanut butter on Ritz crackers yourself. It looks like the crackers are a little bit smaller than the regular Ritz, but it still makes for a decent snack. It might not stave off your appetite, but it will get you to your next meal without your stomach growling. You get the salty crunch from the cracker and the smooth nutty taste of peanut butter with each bite. They pair well with a glass of milk or a bottle of beer. Beer makes everything better. Add some Nutella and you’re golden. Nutella makes everything better too.

Critically Rated at 11/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Graham Cracker

Graham crackers were invented by a minister named Sylvester Graham. They were a fixture of a diet partially designed to curb masturbation. Seriously. You can’t make that shit up. He thought that eating bland food would suppress your carnal urges. A graham cracker is a lightly sweetened type of cracker that tastes almost like a cookie, except it’s slightly healthier for you. Graham crackers are a staple of children’s lunches and day care snack times around the world. They are a crucial part of your childhood. Your affection for graham crackers starts to wane once you hit puberty. Can you even remember the last time you had just a graham cracker and nothing else? S’mores don’t count. You haven’t had a graham cracker by itself since middle school, admit it.

Critically Rated at 11/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Cheez-It Big

Sometimes you’re hungry and want something more than a snack but less than a meal. There was once a time where you were doomed to stay in this hunger limbo, but now there are big Cheez-Its. They are cleverly packaged as Cheez-It Big. It’s “Twice the Size!” with “Big Taste!” They taste like regular Cheez-Its, but they are bigger. I don’t know why they had to make them bigger. It’s not like a bigger Cheez-It is more practical than a regular sized Cheez-It. They both fit in your hand, they both taste the same, and they are just as portable. We are getting sick of remakes and sequels in Hollywood, we don’t need it from snack companies too. There is really no reason for this product to exist.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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