Tag Archives: chopsticks

Getting a Fork at an Asian Restaurant

You’re hungry and in the mood for some rice and decide to try out that new Chinese place down the street. You get a table, sit down, pour some tea, and glance at the menu. At one point you notice that there isn’t any silverware on the table, just a few pairs of chopsticks. That’s ok because you know how to use chopsticks and want to show off your skills. Your waitress doesn’t think you have what it takes and she brings you a fork. Getting a fork at an Asian restaurant is an insult. It’s insulting for them to bring you one without you asking for one. That means they think you suck and aren’t cultured. It’s also insulting if you ask for a fork. I know that eating with sticks is hard, but you should eat Asian food the Asian way.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

Leave a comment

Filed under Snacks

Chopsticks

White people make fun of chopsticks because they can’t use them and because white people are racist. Oprah said so. Watching white people try to use chopsticks is a great Chinese past time. Watching white people clicking those sticks together like knitting needles, struggling to get a noodle into their mouth makes me happy. There’s something comforting in seeing white people fail miserably at being cultured. It makes perfect sense to use two sticks to pick up grains of rice. Forks are like automatic cars: they are way too easy, there’s no fun if there’s no challenge. Chopsticks are like manual cars: you have to do some work to get anywhere. It’s a rite of passage to be able to use chopsticks; you have to earn the right to eat that sushi.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants