Tag Archives: rice

Sticking Your Phone in Rice

It was really hot the other day, so I went swimming with a couple of friends. One of my friends was being really meticulous about emptying his pockets before jumping into the pool. He took off his watch, his chain, he took out his cash, he removed his wallet, then he ran to the pool and did a cannonball. He came up a second later with a scowl on his face and his iPhone in his hand. Fortunately, other people realized what had happened instantly, and before you know it his phone was in a bag of rice. Sticking your phone in rice and leaving it overnight will typically get your phone working again. The rice absorbs the moisture and your phone should start working again once it’s dried out. It’s important not to test your phone out while it’s still wet because you can short circuit it, and then no amount of rice will be able to save your phone. Rice is a wonder food. It feeds the world and saves electronics. It does way more for humanity than I ever will.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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A Rice Cooker

A rice cooker is a kitchen appliance that cooks rice. Rice is already pretty easy to make but a rice cooker makes it even simpler. Throw the uncooked rice into the machine, add water, hit a button and walk away. You’ll have a bunch of rice in twenty minutes. A cup of uncooked rice will make a cup and half of cooked rice. That’s the good kind of inflation. The kind that gives you more food. Rice cookers are also easy to clean, but you can always toss out the old rice and start a new batch if you’re feeling lazy. That’s the authentic way.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Rice

The Internet once told me that on any given day half of the world’s population eats rice. That sounds about right. Rice is a dietary staple around the world. The Asians love it. The Latinos love it. And white people love Asian and Latino food. Rice is cheap and plentiful and billions of people rely on it to survive. There’s white rice, brown rice, Rice-A-Roni, and Uncle Ben’s. They have long grains, short grains, and grains that are just right. It doesn’t matter if you eat rice with a fork or chopstick, wrapped in seaweed or a tortilla, by itself or as part of a dish… eating rice is always nice.

Critically Rated at 16/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Chopsticks

White people make fun of chopsticks because they can’t use them and because white people are racist. Oprah said so. Watching white people try to use chopsticks is a great Chinese past time. Watching white people clicking those sticks together like knitting needles, struggling to get a noodle into their mouth makes me happy. There’s something comforting in seeing white people fail miserably at being cultured. It makes perfect sense to use two sticks to pick up grains of rice. Forks are like automatic cars: they are way too easy, there’s no fun if there’s no challenge. Chopsticks are like manual cars: you have to do some work to get anywhere. It’s a rite of passage to be able to use chopsticks; you have to earn the right to eat that sushi.

Critically Rated at 13/17

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