Tag Archives: champagne

Popping Champagne

Popping champagne almost always signifies a celebration. You crack a beer at the end of a long day; you pop champagne to commemorate a special occasion. You pop champagne when you get engaged, married, win a championship, or bring in the New Year. You pop the cork and spray the crowd if you really want to get rowdy. Champagne is fizzy, it’s happy. It’s not something that you drown your sorrows in.

Whoever buys the bottle of champagne has the honor of popping it. It might be intimidating at first, but confidence is always the key. Grab the neck of the bottle firmly and use your thumbs to slowly push up the cork. Make sure you’re not aiming at anybody’s face (nobody deserves to die like that). Try to aim the cork at something in specific, like at a tile in the ceiling or on top of an awning. The most important thing about buying a bottle of champagne is letting everybody know that you were the one who bought the bottle of champagne. It’s not worth it if you don’t get credit for it.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Celebrating With Strangers

My New Year’s Eve wasn’t exactly perfect, but it was one of the most memorable midnights I’ve ever had. I started the evening by trying to decide where to go. A few friends were going to an event that cost about $200 for a ticket. That was more than I was willing to spend. A few other friends decided to go barhopping, but I didn’t feel like paying a $20 cover and having to battle the amateurs to get the bartender’s attention. I ended up going to the dive bar near my work. It was close to the fireworks and I knew that a lot of my friends from work would end up there eventually. Unfortunately, nobody got cut in time, so I decided to go to my super secret hideout at the top of a nearby hill.

My super secret hideout is an overlooked viewpoint at the top of a hill near Pier 39. You have a view of the Golden Gate Bridge, the Richmond-San Rafael Bridge, and the Bay Bridge, and you can see for miles and miles if there’s no fog. And this was a clear night, perfect conditions for watching the fireworks. The only downside to my hideout is that you have to hop a gate and hike up a long flight of stairs. I jumped over the gate and started the long climb up. I was almost to the top when I noticed three guys smoking a blunt. They were probably in their late teens or early twenties. I nodded to them and kept on climbing. I got to the top and there was a young couple sitting on a bench. There are only two benches at the peak, so I took over the other one, put down my bag and pulled out a joint. I sparked it, took a few puffs, and offered it to the couple. They politely turned it down, but we started making small talk about how smart we were to come up to this amazing spot. The fireworks were about to start so the three younger guys came up and joined us. I passed them my joint, they passed me their blunt, and couple kept track of the time.

As midnight approached we could hear the thousands of people at Pier 39 counting down in unison. You could feel the energy in the air, an electricity as 2014 was closing in. Three! Two! One! Happy New Year! And then we heard the whistle of a firework rising into the air, we saw a flash of read, we heard the boom as it exploded, and we realized that we couldn’t see the fireworks. Not at all. They were behind a gigantic mansion perched on a slightly higher hill. We could hear the booms and cheers of adulation, but we couldn’t see anything.

And we didn’t care. We just laughed and popped open a bottle of champagne that the young couple provided. We smoked a little more weed, took a few swigs from the bottle, and wished each other a Happy New Year. Then we climbed down the stairs and went our separate ways. I never asked for their names, they never asked for mine. I’ll never see them again, I wouldn’t even recognize them if I do. But I’ll never forget them. Celebrating with strangers wasn’t my ideal midnight, but it was pretty awesome. I learned that it doesn’t matter where you are as long as you’re with good people. Plus I had a good story for my friends when they finally showed up at the bar.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Mimosas

It’s breakfast time and you want to drink without seeming like a drunk. Get a Mimosa. It’s classier than ordering a Bloody Mary. A Mimosa is typically champagne and orange juice. O.J. is a breakfast time staple and champagne has bubbles and bubbles are fun. It’s the perfect drink for breakfast or brunch.

            Mimosas are also a great choice for when you need to bring something to a daytime get-together like a pool party. Choosing the champagne is the easy part. Picking out the right orange juice is the hard part. Do you want pulp, no pulp, or some pulp? Do you want the calcium enriched one? Do you want to splurge for the organic? Fuck it, just grab some Sunny D. That should work.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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