Tag Archives: celebrities

Liberian Girl

“Liberian Girl” is a single from Michael Jackson’s album Bad. It’s an alright song, some would describe it as filler material, but it’s catchy and has a cool, sexy vibe to it. He made a music video for it because of course he did. The video’s premise is kind of meta. It’s about a bunch of eighties celebrities meeting on a soundstage to film the music video for “Liberian Girl.” It’s a virtual Who’s Who of eighties entertainment. It’s kind of funny to watch it now and try to name all the celebrities. Some of them are still famous and some of them are pretty obscure. Are they still famous if nobody remembers them? Anyway, so all the celebrities are talking amongst each other while wondering where Michael is and what the video is going to be about, all the while the song is playing in the background almost unnoticed. You keep waiting for the music video to actually start, and then Michael Jackson is revealed to have been filming them all along, and that’s how the music video ends. It’s one of his most unique videos. He’s not really in it, there’s no dance choreography, and the song is not really the main focus. I included the video below. Watch it. Try to guess all the celebrities. Turn it into a drinking game.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Ray J

Ray J is a wannabe R&B singer/actor. A few people have heard of him because he’s Brandy’s little brother and also because he fucked Kim Kardashian before she was all used up. He basically owes everything he has to Brandy. She got him a recording contract and a role in Moesha. He was sort of in the public eye, but nobody was looking at him intentionally. It was still enough to get hot chicks to sleep with him, and one of those hotties was Kim Kardashian. They went out for a while and they made some home movies and one of them got leaked on the Internet. At that point, Ray J was already a falling star and Kim was a virtual unknown. The sex tape reminded a few people that he was still alive, but it turned Kim Kardashian into a household name. After the sex tape she got offers to do a reality show called Keeping Up with the Kardashians, which led to all of the terrible spin-offs and the eventual 24-hour Kardashian Network. The sex tape launched her career into the stratosphere, and Ray J’s stalled out. He’s always been second fiddle and he always will be. He’s kind of a joke because he’s not famous enough to be a punchline.

Critically Rated at 7/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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2012 Summer Olympics Opening Ceremony

The Olympics are an amazing event. Every four years, athletes from various nations get a chance to compete against the world and represent their countries. Most athletes will never get a medal; the highlight of their Olympic experience is typically the Opening Ceremony. The host country usually puts on a little display to show off how amazing their country is, and there’s a lot of music and theatrics and fireworks. Then there’s the Parade of Nations where all the represented countries get a shout out and a moment in the spotlight.

The 2008 Beijing Opening Ceremony was amazing. It was an impressive display of China’s power, and their power is in their population. They have a shit ton of people. And they can do shit in unison and that is terrifying and awesome. The London Games had a tough act to follow.

They tried though. They got renowned director Danny Boyle (Slumdog Millionaire, 127 Hours, 28 Days Later) to direct the show, and they had every single British celebrity you can think of make an appearance. They had Daniel Craig a.k.a. James Bond! They had the mother fucking Queen of England! They had David Beckham and J.K. Rowling and Kenneth Branagh! They even had Mr. Bean and Sir Paul McCartney (the last good living Beatle)! There are only a handful of world-famous Brits and they were all there.

There was a theme to the ceremony. I’m sure there was. But it was boring and so I don’t know what it was. At one point they were paying homage to the Industrial Revolution and they forged Olympic Rings and it was beautiful and awe-inspiring. And then that shit just kept going on and on. And on and on. Then it went on some more. By the time the Parade of Nations was starting, I was done. I have the internet; I can see what countries are competing on my own time. I don’t need to rely on NBC’s extensive Olympic coverage.

It wasn’t a terrible Opening Ceremony. It just had the bad luck of following the best Opening Ceremony of all time. The Summer Olympics have started. That’s all that matters. Let the games begin.

Critically Rated at 12/17

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Celebrities That I’ve Seen Personally

There’s over seven billion people in the world, so there’s a pretty good chance that you will see people everyday. Every once in a while you will see someone you recognize but never met. And you will geek out a little bit because you just saw someone famous. Randomly bumping into a celebrity on the street isn’t that common (unless you live in LA). I find that just as excited to see an A-list celebrity as I am to see a guy who guest starred on Lost. I haven’t seen anyone super famous, like Jack Nicholson or the Pope, but I’ve seen a few people.

Here is a partial list of the celebrities that I have come face to face with, talked to, and/or made physical contact with (handshakes, fist bumps, accidently walking into). There is no particular order to my list, they aren’t sorted by date or by how famous they are.

I lived in LA for nine months. You see celebrities all day long down there. They are like pigeons, you can’t avoid them, they are everywhere. I worked at Chili’s in Westwood, near UCLA. And I would see the most random people like J.D. Walsh (Mackey from Smart Guy, Gordon from Two and a Half Men). One day Holly Madison, Bridget Marquardt, and Kendra Wilkinson from the Girls Next Door came in with seven other Playmates. They were wearing t-shirts and jeans weren’t dressed up, but they were stunning.

Master P, Lil Romeo (he was still Lil Romeo at the time) and their bodyguard came in and got lunch. Kevin Connolly (E from Entourage) came in by himself on a Saturday night. He is a tiny little guy. I also saw Rick Fox from the Lakers, and he is 6’7”. Pretty damn tall.

The first “celebrity” that I remember talking to was Annette from the second season of Bug Juice. Bug Juice was like the Real World for kids and took place at a summer camp. I saw Annette at the Marin County Fair. My friend pointed her out and told me who she was. And I yelled, “Hey, Annette! Are you from Bug Juice?” and she nodded so I’m pretty sure it was her.

I live in San Francisco now. Up here, I’ve bumped into Andris Biedrins from the Warriors and he is 7 feet tall. I really bumped into him: my buddy shoved me into him rather than simply point him out to me. I met Randy Johnson on my birthday in 2009 and he gave a birthday fist bump. I also met Barry Bonds back in the day and got his autograph of piece of graphing paper because that was the only thing I had available. Pablo Sandoval has come into the restaurant that I work at now a few times, sometimes with a random hot chick, sometimes by himself.

Recently I got to serve Aldon Smith, one of the best defensive rookies in the NFL last year. Other professional athletes I’ve seen: Andre Agasi when he was at the top of his game. I played one season of Little League, and one of the players I competed against is Bud Norris of the Houston Astros. I also saw pitcher Kevin Correia (currently pitching for the Pirates, but I saw him when he was pitching for the Giants).

I’ve met a few musicians like James Hetfield from Metallica and Tom Johnston of the Doobie Brothers. I am the one who told Tom Johnston’s son what Doobie meant. That’s pretty awesome.

A bunch of my friends have seen Dave Chappelle walking around SF streets. I’m not that lucky, but I did see Jim Breuer and his family. That’s not nearly as cool, but that’s half the cast of Half Baked right there.

The biggest celebrity that I’ve met is Warwick Davis. I know I said that Kevin Connolly was tiny, but Warwick Davis is actually a little person. I actually went up and introduced myself as a big fan and shook his hand. Yes, I told a little person actor that I was a big fan… not the smoothest thing that I’ve done. Warwick Davis is in some of the biggest movies of all time. He was the main Ewok (Wicket) in Return of the Jedi. He was motherfucking Willow in Willow. He was Professor Flitwick (and sometimes Griphook) in the Harry Potter movies. He was the Leprechaun in the Leprechaun movies. He is a pretty well established actor and it was awesome meeting him. Fucking Star Wars and Harry Potter… Yeah, I geeked out a little bit.

Celebrities are just people that are on TV and in the movies. And that makes them better than you. It’s just a fact of life, don’t take it personally. That’s why you freak out a little and change your Facebook status and text your friends.

Critically Rated at 13/17

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Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy

Will Ferrell makes Will Ferrell movies, and Anchorman is his best. Adam McKay (Talladega Nights, Eastbound & Down) directs and co-wrote the script with Will Ferrell, who stars as stars as Ron Burgundy, the best anchorman in San Diego. Paul Rudd, Steve Carell, David Koechner, and Christina Applegate costar, and Judd Apatow produces.

Ron Burgundy is the best damn anchorman in San Diego. He’s number one and isn’t afraid to let everyone know it. His Channel 4 News team is made up of meteorologist Brick Tamland (Steve Carell), sportscaster Champ Kind (David Koechner), and field reporter Brian Fontana (Paul Rudd). Brick is legally retarded, Champ has man crush on Ron Burgundy, and Brian fancies himself a ladies man, but doesn’t have much luck. It’s a happier and lighter style of reporting, showcased by the ongoing reports on Ling-Wong the pregnant panda.

Things are going great for a while, but it’s the ‘70s and times are changing. Veronica Corningstone (Christina Applegate) is the first female reporter hired at the station, and she has to deal with the immature men and blatant sexism as she battles for respect. Her and Ron get together and start a relationship, but it’s doomed because she’s looking forward to the future and Ron is stuck in the past.

One day Ron has a run-in with an angry biker who kicks Ron’s dog Baxter off a bridge. Ron is too distraught to report the news, so Veronica fills in and nails it. Ron is hurt and betrayed that Veronica would read his news and ends their relationship. There’s no denying Veronica’s talent and she is promoted to co-anchor.

Ron and his news team try to get rid of her in various ways, but Veronica sabotages Ron’s teleprompter so that he says, “Go fuck yourself San Diego”. You generally can’t say shit like that on TV, so Ron gets fired and Veronica becomes the lead anchor.

After a few months, Ron is just a drunk, but Veronica is more famous and successful than Ron ever was. One day Ling-Wong the pregnant panda finally starts to give birth, so the all of San Diego’s media shows up for the story of the year. Veronica gets shoved into a bear pit by a rival anchor that wants a good shot of Ling-Wong giving birth. When nobody can find Veronica, Ron Burgundy gets a chance to report once again.

Ron cleans himself up and shows up at the zoo to do some anchoring, but when he sees Veronica is in trouble, he jumps into the bear pit too. And just for good measure the rest of the news team jumps in too. Just when it seems like they are completely fucked, Baxter the dog shows up again. After he got kicked off the bridge by an angry biker, he had a fantastic journey to get back to Ron. He met a bear named Katow-jo, who coincidently happens to be the bear’s cousin, and so Ron and Veronica and the Channel 4 news team is safe. Talk about deus ex machine.

Will Ferrell is hysterical but he plays the same character in every single movie. Anchorman was before he wore his shtick into the ground. But there’s no denying he is funny as hell. Anchorman would not have worked without Will Ferrell, but Paul Rudd, Steve Carell and David Koechner deserve a lot of the credit for making the movie one of the best comedies of that decade. Sex Panther… 60% of the time, it works every time. There are a lot of cameos: Vince Vaughn, Ben Stiller, Luke Wilson, Jack Black, Seth Rogan, Tim Robbins, and a few other celebs make appearances. The news team showdown is one of the highlights of the movie.

Judd Apatow movies are usually always good. He track record is almost as good as Pixar’s. Drillbit Taylor sucked but Cars 2 was no gem either. This is Will Ferrell’s best movie. I can’t wait for the sequel.

Critically Rated at 15/17


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