Tag Archives: back

Don’t Step On a Crack

There’s an old playground saying that goes something like: Don’t step on a crack, or you’ll break your mother’s back. This terrified me as a kid. I jumped over every single sidewalk crack and break in the asphalt. I loved my mother (I still do), I didn’t want her to break her back. And I sure as hell didn’t want to be the one responsible for breaking her back. The guilt and the hospital bills would kill me. I grew up and stopped being OCD about it, but every now and then I will purposely avoid stepping on a crack just in case. She still hasn’t broken her back, so it must be working a little bit.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants

Back Float

Humans are naturally buoyant. Even if you can’t swim, you can still back float. Babies can do it. Grandmas can do it. You can do it. The only person who can’t back float is me. I sink. Don’t get me wrong, I can swim. I can swim pretty damn good too. I’m no Michael Phelps, but I grew up in suburbia with a pool in my backyard and I can hold my own. But I still can’t back float. I can stay afloat for about 5 and a half seconds before my legs start to sink and the rest of my body gets dragged along. I would drown if I was asleep. I just think it’s bullshit that everyone else in the world is capable of doing something that I can’t do. I want to be able to float on my back and drift wherever the current takes me, without a care in the world. Don’t take your back floating abilities for granted.

Critically Rated at 7/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants