Tag Archives: mothers back

Don’t Step On a Crack

There’s an old playground saying that goes something like: Don’t step on a crack, or you’ll break your mother’s back. This terrified me as a kid. I jumped over every single sidewalk crack and break in the asphalt. I loved my mother (I still do), I didn’t want her to break her back. And I sure as hell didn’t want to be the one responsible for breaking her back. The guilt and the hospital bills would kill me. I grew up and stopped being OCD about it, but every now and then I will purposely avoid stepping on a crack just in case. She still hasn’t broken her back, so it must be working a little bit.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Sidewalk Cracks

I’m not really superstitious, but I’m a creature of habit and will occasionally try to avoid stepping on sidewalk cracks. I don’t do it all the time, but sometimes the potential perils of sidewalk crack-stepping will come to mind and I will not be responsible for breaking my mother’s back. The most important thing about avoiding the cracks in the sidewalk is making it look like you’re not trying to avoid them. If someone notices you meticulously avoiding the cracks, they will call you out for your OCD behavior. So you got to adjust your stride nonchalantly and keep it subtle. It’s ok to be crazy as long as nobody thinks you’re crazy.

Critically Rated at 10/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Random Rants