Tag Archives: awake

The Accidental Wake Up Text

Sleeping in is nice. You get to lie in bed, all comfortable and content, drifting in and out of dreams, without a care in the world. And then the reality slaps you in the face and your phone buzzes and wakes you up. Some jerkass texted you for some stupid reason, it doesn’t even matter why. You can’t go back to your awesome dream so you’re kind of pissed before you even manage to open one eye to read the text. And no matter what the text says, it’s never worth waking up for. You might obligingly respond and tell them that you’re still sleeping before you close your eyes and try to drift off again. Inevitably they’ll text you back apologizing for waking you up, waking you up again in the process. You just can’t win and the universe doesn’t want you to.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Your Second Wind

Humans are fragile creatures. That’s why our minds get tired and our body needs sleep. So if you worked all day and have to party that night, you’re going to be a walking zombie at some point. Your head will droop and your eyes will feel heavy, and you want nothing more than to crash in your bed or anywhere you can.

Fight the urge to sleep and grab a drink and power through that shit. If you feel tired long enough, you will start to not feel tired. This magical feeling is known as your second wind. Sometimes you can extend the term to cover drinking. If you are on the verge of puking but manage to keep it down, you will feel better soon and get your second wind. You might still be drunk, but at least your mouth doesn’t taste like vomit and you can still hit on girls.

The coolest things happen when you are sleeping, so you have to avoid it as much as possible. Naps are for cats. Waiting for your second wind is the way to go.

Critically Rated at 14/17

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