I’m staying on a couch at the moment and had to take a piss at three in the morning, but I didn’t want to wake anybody up. I tiptoed down the hall, I slowly opened the door, quietly turned the knob, and aimed for the side of the bowl to avoid making noise. Then I stood there for about five minutes deciding whether or not to flush the toilet. If I flushed it, then all my attempts at stealth would go down the drain. If I left it, they might think that I’m a rude houseguest. I didn’t know what to do until I remembered the old adage: If it’s yellow, let it mellow. If it’s brown, flush it down. There are other variants like If it’s pee, let it be, but the message is the same: urine can stay in the bowl, but you gotta flush the shit. So I didn’t flush, and if they were wondering why not, that’s why. They didn’t wake up though, so I regret nothing.
Critically Rated at 10/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young