Crop Dusting

Crop dusting is the art of discreetly farting at a specific target as you casually pass by. You can crop dust an empty area (but that’s not fun). Most of the time you’re aiming at a specific person or a group of assholes. It’s pretty easy. Just build up some gas, nonchalantly walk by, and as you approach the target you let ‘er rip. Just make sure it’s silent and you don’t shit yourself. Don’t get caught. If they know that you just farted on them, you failed, and they will rightfully get pissed at you.

If you’re new to crop dusting, you should probably start off by crop dusting babies and dogs. Babies can’t narc on you and they’re crying all the time anyway. Dogs can’t talk and have a heightened sense of smell, so it’s the perfect crime. Practice makes perfect, but don’t get carried away.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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