Tag Archives: wrong way

Going the Wrong Way on the Escalator

Conforming is for sheep. That’s why I’ll go the wrong way on the escalator every now and then. I’ll run up the down-moving escalator and run down the up-moving escalator. I’ll do it just to do it. It keeps me in shape and it annoys the hell out of other commuters. Going the wrong way on the escalator is like running in slow motion. You feel like you’re moving fast but everything else slows down.  I imagine that’s how the Flash sees the universe when he’s running at top speed. The last time I went the wrong way on the escalator was when I was in Vegas. That’s the kind of crazy shit I do in Vegas. Something about breaking mundane laws makes you feel like a badass.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Backward Emoticons

Emoticons are those little smiley face things that you use in text messages and on the Internet. They as common as expressions like LOL and JK and they often appear in conjunction with each other: “Hey babe, I need to take a shower. Want to join me? 🙂 LOL”. The traditional way to do an emoticon is to do the eyes first, then the nose, then the mouth. If you do it right, it will get autocorrected into a cartoon smiley. But there are a lot of rebels/idiots who make backward emoticons. It will look like (-: or (: and that’s the wrong way to do it. It looks like a frowny face at first glance. It looks weird because most people do it the right way. And it also doesn’t autocorrect, which is a big sign that you’re doing it wrong. And you look like an idiot if you can’t make a smiley face the right way. Just do what normal people do and avoid using backward emoticons. Eyes to the left, mouth to the right… left to right, it’s just like reading or writing. What a novel concept.

Critically Rated at 4/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Random Rants