I used to live in Los Angeles and rented out a house that had a bidet. That was my first experience with a bidet outside of that memorable scene in Crocodile Dundee. In fact, it was only because of that movie that I even knew what a bidet was and what it was used for (“for washing your backside”). So I had a bidet in my bathroom. I had to try it and I did. I tried it a few times. I didn’t like it. It wasn’t for me. I prefer toilet paper. I would rather wipe my ass than hose it down. Bidets are classy, but they are also intimidating, especially if you have no clue how to use them. Most Americans don’t know which way to face, or if they should take their pants off to avoid splashes, or if they can pee in it. And you’re wet afterward so you still need to wipe and that kind of defeats the purpose. Whatever. To each his own.
Critically Rated at 10/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young