Tag Archives: twist

Titty Twister

A titty twister is when your asshole friend pinches your nipple and twists it. It goes by a few other names. I’ve heard it been called a purple nurple or a boobie blister, and there are alternate spellings such as tittie twister, but it’s all the same term for that act of casual assault. Titty twisters hurt. You don’t want to be on the receiving end of one, but it’s funny to witness one or to be the guy doing the titty twisting. My friend is really good at titty twisters. She has a special talent where she knows exactly where your nipple is at all times. She just hones in on it, latches on, and twists your titty when you least expect it. She has a 99% titty twister success rate, which is uncanny. Most titty twister attempts only have a 60% success rate. It’s a lot harder to grab a nipple that you can’t see than you might think.  It’s not a great talent to have, but it’s still a valid talent.

Critically Rated at 11/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Random Rants

Pizza then Twists then Back to Pizza

You’re chilling with some friends, it’s getting near dinnertime, and you all decide to order a pizza with some garlic twists. Twists are good, pizza is great, and you’re not sure which one to eat first. Let me give you a hint: start with a slice or two of pizza, then grab a twist, then go back to pizza. If you’re still hungry after that, then you can grab another twist. It’s more important to fill up on pizza first. You got the twists to go with the pizza; you didn’t get the pizza to go with the twists. Pizza is the main event, twists are just the accessory. So remember: it’s pizza then twists then back to pizza. And it all goes better with beer.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Snacks