Tag Archives: twenties

Turning Thirty

It’s my birthday today. You don’t have to get me anything; I just want you to know that it’s my birthday. And it’s kind of a milestone. It’s my thirtieth. The big 3-0. The Dirty Thirty. My twenties are over. It’s the start of a new era. Your thirties can be whatever you want them to be. I want mine to be a lot like my twenties, but with more money. A lot more.

My birthday has been pretty uneventful so far. I woke up, I took a shit, I took a shower, I drank a beer, I hung out with my roommates and we watched internet videos, I drank another beer, and then I left the house to run some errands before I go out of town for a weekend wedding in San Diego.

One of the things I had to do was pick up my rental suit. I was trying it on and the lady asked if I was going to prom on Saturday. I told her it was for a wedding. She apologized and I told her that I just turned thirty so I’d take it as a compliment. Her jaw dropped. The best part was when a high school senior approached me in disbelief. “You’re thirty?!? I’m seventeen. You look like a baby.”

I’m thirty. I don’t feel like a baby. But I know that I have good genes and alcohol makes a great preservative. In fact, I plan on drinking copious amounts of alcohol tonight while I watch the Giants hopefully beat the Dodgers. Nothing makes a better birthday gift than beating LA.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young


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Twenty-dollar bills are the money currency, pun definitely intended. If it’s good enough for the ATM, it is good enough for me. It’s the most practical bill for most cash transactions.

A lot of people don’t like this bill because it depicts Andrew Jackson. Jackson was a strong leader, but a very controversial president. He was super racist and was responsible for the Trail of Tears. Look it up on Wikipedia, that shit was fucked up. Bigotry and politics aside, the twenty is the most practical bill we have.

Critically Rated at 15/17

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