December 10, 2012 · 11:41 am
You wake up late and rush around grabbing your stuff and getting ready before heading out for work. An hour or two into your shift you get a whiff of something unpleasant. You sniff around for the source, perplexed as to how the stink keeps following you. Then you realize that it’s you. You can’t remember putting on deodorant. And if you’re not sure if you put on deodorant, you probably didn’t. And if you can smell your own B.O., it’s guaranteed that everyone else in the vicinity can smell you too. You’ll be ok, just don’t hit on anyone.
Critically Rated at 6/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young
December 6, 2012 · 10:44 am
You’re lying comfortably in bed without a care in the world, completely warm and wrapped tightly in your sheets. You’re totally relaxed and at ease. And then you let one rip and you snap out of your reverie. You just Dutch ovened yourself, the ultimate betrayal. A Dutch oven is a cooking pot. It’s also when you fart under the covers and are forced to smell it. It combines the joy of being farted on with the pleasure of inhaling flatulence. It’s not a great way to start your day. It’s even worse when someone else gets you. The worst is when a stranger gets you.
Critically Rated at 1/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young
Filed under Random Rants
Tagged as bed, betrayal, cooking pot, covers, dutch oven, fart, farted, flatulence, sheets, smell, stink
criticallyrated 