Tag Archives: presents

Wrapping Presents

Every holiday season you go on a quest. You search through malls and stores and websites in search of the perfect gift for a loved one. You have to think about what that person wants, what they need, and what’s in your budget. And then you have to wrap up. Wrapping presents makes your gift a little bit more mysterious and that makes it more fun. It’s also an unnecessary gimmick to make department stores a little bit more money. But it’s become tradition and customary, and a gift seems less personal if it’s not wrapped. You don’t even need to use real wrapping paper, the funny pages from the paper make an adequate substitute. I’ve even used grocery store advertisements and brown paper bags for wrapping presents. It only ruined Christmas a little bit.

Critically Rated at 9/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Christmas

It’s Christmas day, the pinnacle of the Holiday season. Everyday since Halloween has building up for this 24-hour period of food, gifts, and family fights. Hanukah and Kwanzaa are ok, but everyone knows that Christmas is the star of the show. It’s the fake birthday of our favorite bastard. And since he’s not around anymore, we get to open his presents for him. There are a lot of traditions and customs around the world. Santa Claus, Father Christmas, Kris Kringle and St. Nick are a bunch of creepy old men that give goodies to little kids in the middle of the night. People used to take living trees and display them inside. They gradually decided that it was weird, so they started using fake plastic trees instead. People stand around in groups in the freezing cold, loudly singing songs about silent nights.

Christmas is overhyped. It’s lost all value as a holiday. It’s the poster child for consumerism and gluttony, but masked with bright lights and fake snow to make it presentable. It’s still a great day to spend with friends and family, but the magic of the holiday has been slowly draining away ever since you found out that Santa’s not real, he’s just a mascot for the Coca-Cola Company. But everything is full of shit when you analyze it, and Christmas is still my favorite holiday.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Random Rants