Pluto is cursed. There has never been a good Pluto. Once upon a time, there used to be a planet named Pluto, but then it got demoted. Now it’s just another asteroid. Then there’s the Disney dog. You might recall that here are two main dogs in the Disney Universe. One of them was Goofy, a talking dog who is also best friends with Mickey Mouse. And the other one is Pluto, just a dumb dog who can’t talk and was enslaved by Mickey Mouse. Disney’s Pluto is so fucking dumb that a talking mouse keeps him as a pet. Eddie Murphy has been in a lot of bad movies, but his worst one has got to be The Adventures of Pluto Nash and that’s saying something because he has made a lot of terrible, terrible films. And I mean terrible. The name Pluto comes from Greek mythology. Pluto was the god of the underworld, but most people today remember the other Greek name for the god of the underworld: Hades. Anyone who’s ever read an ancient poem in English class, or listened to the lyrics of a good hip hop song knows that Hades is the undisputed ruler of the underworld. Pluto is a joke. Nothing good can come from naming something after Pluto. From now on we are all boycotting Pluto. No more Pluto.
Critically Rated at 1/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young