The Lone Ranger is a 2013 Disney movie about a masked vigilante and his Indian friend. The Lone Ranger is a classic character appearing in radio serials, comic books, and TV shows. Disney brings him back to the big screen for the first time in 32 years. But this is 2013, and nobody bothered to tell them that nobody cares about such an outdated character. This movie just came out and the studio is already admitting that it’s a box office bomb. I don’t know how they finally realized that it sucks. I could tell from the trailer that it was going to suck. The sad thing is that hundreds of people wasted years of their lives working on this film and not one of them realized that it was simply a terrible, terrible idea. I don’t even know anybody who saw it. I didn’t even see it. I just know that I don’t like it.
Armie Hammer “stars” as the Lone Ranger, but he doesn’t even get top billing. He doesn’t even get his own poster. Instead the studio advertised the film as The Lone Ranger staring Johnny Depp as the Lone Ranger’s Indian friend. I can’t believe that major Hollywood studios are still making movies with white actors playing minorities in 2013. It’s pretty racist and it’s pretty insulting to the audience. Johnny Depp is again reunited with Gore Verbinski, the director of Pirates of the Caribbean 1-3 and Rango. Does Tim Burton know that Johnny Depp is cheating on him? And making inferior movies?
So it’s not really fair for me to write a review about a movie that I didn’t see and probably will never see, but I had to write about something. If you liked this movie, I’d be shocked. Not because of your awful taste in movies, but because you actually paid money to watch it.
Critically Rated at 3/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young
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