Tag Archives: idiot

A Clueless Person Acting Like a Tour Guide

The other day I overheard a clueless person acting like a tour guide to his visiting friends. He was pointing at the Bay Bridge and declared it to be the Golden Gate Bridge. His friends smiled and nodded, one of them even took a picture. I had to bite my tongue to keep from slapping him. Even a blind person knows that the Golden Gate Bridge is fucking red. And a real San Francisco native would know that its official color is international orange. You’re not much of a tour guide if you’re ignorant about the city you live in. Maybe you shouldn’t be talking about stuff that you don’t know anything about. Most cities have an interesting history, and it’s your duty to learn about yours. You don’t have to be an expert, just don’t make up facts. You’ll end up embarrassing yourself and I’ll write an article about your stupidity.

Critically Rated at 5/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under People I Feel Sorry For

Talking on the Phone in the Subway

Having a long conversation on the phone in public is enough to make everyone hate you, but talking on the phone in the subway is just plain stupid. The other day I was in the underground station waiting for my train. There was a stupid bitch yakking away on her phone standing behind me. The train approached and we both got on, she just kept on chatting away as the door closed and the train started to move. Then her phone cut out because that’s what happens when you’re in a tunnel. I enjoyed the temporary reprieve from her annoying voice, but then she called her friend back at the next station. We were still underground and we had three more stops to go before we hit street level. So she had a twenty-seven second conversation before the doors closed, the train started moving, and her phone got cut off again. And then she called back at the next station, apologized for losing reception because she’s in the subway, and promptly got cut off when the train started moving again. She let out an impatient sigh, like it was the train’s fault for her being an idiot. I know that she’s an idiot because she called back at every station. It’s truly remarkable how people like that exist. And holy shit, there are a lot of people like that. I can’t wait for the zombie apocalypse.

Critically Rated at 5/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Random Rants