Tag Archives: fist bump

Leave Them Hanging

I went to work today and my coworker made some snide comment about me before he even said hello. Then he tried to play it off as a joke and he went in for a fist bump to show that we were cool to everybody else in the room. And I left him hanging. I refused to bump his fist. He tried to bump fists a few times, but I would have none of it. He actually asked me for a bump. He begged me for a bump. I responded by flipping him off. Everybody else laughed at him. I regained the upper hand. You can do the same thing. All you have to do to get control of a situation is to leave them hanging. This is an important life lesson that you can use everyday. You can apply it to relationships, friendships, and in the workplace. You are in control as long as other people want what you refuse to give them. It’s not about pride. It’s about self-respect.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Fist Bump

A fist bump (or pound) is a more casual and cooler way to shake hands. You ball your hand into a fist, extend your arm, and lightly tap your knuckles against the other person’s knuckles. You don’t have to be gentle about it, but you don’t have to punch the other person. You’re not playing Bloody Knuckles. You can use the fist bump as a greeting, in lieu of a celebratory high five, and/or as a casual goodbye when someone is leaving. Fist bumps have a few benefits over a high five or handshake. For starters, it doesn’t matter which fist you use unlike with a high five or handshake. It’s virtually impossible to have an awkward fist bump. Everyone’s had an awkward handshake or high five before. Fist bumps are much easier and harder to fuck up on. You also make less surface contact with the other person’s skin, so you don’t have to worry about sweaty palms or clammy hands. And fist bumps are also more sanitary so you don’t have to stress about germs, bacteria, or if they washed their hands when they went to the bathroom.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Awkward Handshake

Awkward handshakes are embarrassing. You’ll bump into a casual acquaintance on the street and you go in to greet him with a handshake as he’s trying to greet you with a fist bump. And you notice that he’s trying to fist bump so you start to make a fist, and simultaneously he sees that you’re trying to shake hands so he switches to a handshake. You both start fumbling around between a potential fist bump and a handshake, and it’s pretty obvious that you guys aren’t on the same page. Someone has to take charge and declare if the greeting will be a bump or a shake. It’s also awkward when you both go in for a handshake and then you try to follow it with a fist bump but he doesn’t catch on and he leaves you there fist bumping the air like a Jersey Shore asshole. An awkward handshake is a terrible way to begin a greeting. It can only go down from there. Just pretend like nothing happened and end the conversation by walking away. You’re not being rude, you’re just trying to save face and redeem yourself.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Random Rants