Tag Archives: drunk

September 15, 2012 · 7:42 am

California Closing Time

California is legit. We have mountains, movie stars, the Pacific Ocean, really good weed, beaches, lakes, rivers, snow, and sunshine. We also have bars that close at 2:00 a.m. That part’s not so cool. They actually close earlier than 2:00. Most bars set their clocks ahead 15 minutes so they can close earlier. So they pretend to close at 2:00 but it’s really still 1:45. That’s fifteen minutes of drinking that they steal from you.

Most cool kids don’t even get to the bar until after 10 or 11:00 p.m. So you have less than three hours to drink and socialize before they kick you out. That’s not much time for fun on a Saturday night. When the bar closes it is time for the afterparty or to go home. California is awesome. California closing time is not.

Critically Rated at 4/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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September 10, 2012 · 9:26 am

Flip Cup

Flip Cup is a drinking game. The object of the game is to flip your cup after you drink it. If your team can drink all their beers and flip all their cups faster than then other team, victory is yours. Each team has the same amount of competitors. You chug your beer, you flip your cup, and the person behind you does the same. The team that drinks all their beers and flips all their cups upside down first wins. If you get drunk, you are playing the game right. Good for you.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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September 8, 2012 · 10:10 am

Simultaneous Drunken Conversations

When you first arrive at a bar with a few friends, everyone is engaged in a single conversation. As time goes by and the drinks go down, the conversation starts to branch out and soon you simultaneous drunken conversations all over the place. Everybody has something to say and the more you drink, the more inclined you are to share your opinions. You alternate between blabbing about bullshit and nodding your head in agreement while drinking your drink. There’s a conversation about football to your left, a discussion about Kim Kardashian to your right, and a hundred other meaningless debates raging in your near vicinity. Just jump into one and don’t leave until you need another drink. It’s just drunk talk.

Critically Rated at 11/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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September 3, 2012 · 9:22 am

Sloshball

Sloshball is like baseball or kickball but with a beer in your hand. You play offense with a beer, you play defense with a beer, and second base should be a keg. On paper the object of the game is simple: you want to score more runs than the other team before you run out of innings. But the real object of the game is to get drunk and have a good time. You have a good time sacrificing your beer to catch a foul ball. You have a great time by pegging a base runner and smashing his beer cup into his face. You have an awesome time laughing and cheering and celebrating great plays. Sloshball is fun sport, best reserved for birthdays and special events. It’s not recommended for kids.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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August 14, 2012 · 9:02 am

Catching Up

Sometimes you get out of work late or get to the party after everyone else. And everyone else is already drunk. So you feel like you have to catch up to get on their level. You’ll start with a shot or two and then progress to double fisting. And then a few more drinks and you’ll take a hit of that. Pretty soon you’re feeling good and you knew that catching up was a good idea. Just don’t pass them. Then it’s game over. Drink responsibly, if there is such a thing.

Critically Rated at 13/17

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July 25, 2012 · 10:24 am

Coming Home Drunk With Prizes

Last night was my friend’s birthday party. She celebrated at a bar and we all got shitfaced. I made it home with my phone, keys, and wallet… everything that I left with, I came back with. I also came back with someone’s container of weed. It’s not mine, I didn’t buy it, I didn’t steal it. Someone who was drunker than me gave it to my drunk ass and I can’t remember who. But now it’s mine.  It sucks when you lose something while drinking, but gaining something makes you feel like it was a productive night. Coming home drunk with prizes from the bar is better than coming home sober with prizes from the county fair.

Critically Rated at 15/17

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