Tag Archives: dance

August 27, 2013 · 9:56 am

Macarena (Bayside Boys Remix)

The Macarena was a horrible song and dance routine that took the world by storm in 1996. The Macarena was a glorious fad that is still considered to be the greatest one-hit wonder of all time. It’s still also Billboard’s number one Latin song and the number one dance song. It was huge and it was everywhere. It was all over the TV, the radio, at sporting events, and at school dances. You knew how to do it, your baby sister knew how to do it, your dad knew how to do it, and even your grandma knew the fucking dance. And everyone still knows how to do it today. That’s pretty amazing. And it’s even more amazing that it conquered the world without any help from the internet. This was way before YouTube and streaming videos. It was a viral hit before we knew what viral was. And it makes me wonder how big it would have been if it was released today. I’m pretty sure that Los del Rio would be hanging out with Psy in the billion+ hits club. It would be one of the biggest memes of all time. Instead it’s just another thing to reminisce about from the ‘90s. Oh god, how I miss the ‘90s.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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July 1, 2013 · 10:18 am

Blacks and Asians

Have you ever noticed how much blacks and Asians have in common? They respect each other’s culture and even attempt to assimilate some cultural aspects. If you pay attention to pop culture, you’ll notice that blacks and Asians borrow from each other all the time. Case in point, the Wu-Tang Clan. They were heavily influenced by martial arts films and their debut album’s theme is about Shaolin style versus Wu-Tang style. RZA even did the music for Kill Bill. Blacks and Asians also share an affinity for Jackie Chan, but everybody loves Jackie Chan so I’m not sure that counts. They both love rap music and basketball and can dance way better than any white guy. A huge percentage of rappers and R&B singers use Chinese dragons and Kung Fu films as a motif in their music. There are an absurd amount of movies and TV shows about black ninjas/samurais/karate masters. Blade, Ghost Dog, Afro Samurai, etc. And we even have a bunch of martial arts films where a black person teams up with an Asian, like in the Rush Hour trilogy, Romeo Must Die… there are other examples but I’m too lazy to Google them. Asians are also the only race that blacks will allow to dress up like gangstas. It’s a compromise. If two cultures are constantly oppressed by Whitey, it’s only natural to form an alliance.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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May 14, 2013 · 10:12 am

Smooth Criminal by Michael Jackson

            Michael Jackson is the King of Pop and the Master of Music Videos. Or rather he was. He’s dead now. Everyone has their own favorite Michael Jackson video. Boring and cliché people are partial to Thriller. A lot of people like Bad, Beat it, and Billie Jean. Those are all great videos, but Smooth Criminal is the best Michael Jackson video. It’s a great song and he showcases some of his best dance moves including the moonwalk and the anti-gravity lean. I wonder how many wannabes broke their nose trying to do the lean. I’m guessing it was a lot. Smooth Criminal is not just a music video, it’s short film. And it has almost all the iconic Michael Jackson trademarks: he’s rocking a fedora, a slick suit with an armband, tape on his fingertips, he’s pretending to be tough and feigning street cred, there are strangers doing a spontaneous yet perfectly choreographed dance, a couple of little kids running around well past their bedtime… the only things missing are the glove and his hair on fire.

Smooth Criminal is a very stylized video (it’s actually the centerpiece of his film Moonwalker). MJ enters a 1930’s nightclub filled with gangsters and he’s somehow tougher than all of them. He sings and dances and prances around. He beats up some dudes, and he even shoots and kills another guy, sending him flying backwards through a brick wall. At one point the music cuts out and everyone starts moving in slow motion with a blue tinge. Michael does a little howling and finger snapping and bobs his head ferociously. A cat walks on a piano for some reason, the ladies start moaning, and everything slows down before the song explodes back into existence. It’s impossible to watch this video and not try to emulate his moves. Don’t even try to dance like Michael Jackson; you won’t be able to pull it off. Michael Jackson is the only guy who looks cool doing Michael Jackson moves. Everyone else looks like Corey Feldman during his MJ obsession.

            Critically Rated at 17/17

Written, Rated and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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