Tag Archives: cutlery

March 7, 2012 · 9:39 am

Sporks

Sporks are amazing. They are the brunch of the cutlery world. It’s a flying car. A spoon and a fork in one handy utensil. The future is now. Sporks combine the spearing powers of a fork with the scooping/stirring/holding capabilities of a spoon. I’m pretty sure that KFC invented them. I go backpacking occasionally, and one of the first pieces of equipment I bought was a metal spork. My life was now complete. I had nothing else to live for, so I took up heroin so I have something to do.

Critically Rated at 17/17

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants

Tagged as , , , , ,

March 6, 2012 · 11:08 am

Spoons

I will forever associate spoons with Homer Simpson: “Marge, where’s that… metal dealie… you use to… dig… food?” Spoons are ideal for stirring things or shoveling soup or cereal into your mouth. I don’t like little kids who need spoons to eat mac & cheese. Grow up, you stupid baby. I like ladles; I think a giant spoon that is just for serving is a great idea. For some stupid reason spoons are really popular souvenirs. I don’t get it. Who wants a little tiny spoon with a dinosaur or Disneyland on it? Neat, you went to the Grand Canyon. And you brought back a little useless utensil with a tiny picture on it. Kudos.

If a girl asks if you want to spoon, the correct answer is “only if we fork first.”

Critically Rated at 13/17

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants

Tagged as , , , , ,