Tag Archives: crocodile dundee

“Crocodile” Dundee

“Crocodile” Dundee is a 1986 comedy and my favorite Australian film. It stars Paul Hogan as the titular Michael J. “Crocodile” Dundee, a bushman who narrowly survived an encounter with a Saltwater Crocodile. His story is enough to get the attention of Sue Charlton (played by Linda Kozlowski), a New York reporter. She tracks him down to get the scoop. “Crocodile” Dundee and Sue go out into the Outback to retrace his steps. He shows her the beauties of Australia and the two of them start falling for each other, despite the fact that Sue is in a relationship with her editor.

Sue doesn’t want their time together to end, so she asks him to come to New York City pretending that she wants to find an adequate ending to her article. He agrees, and then the film transitions into a fish-out-of-water story. Look at the wacky Australian struggling to figure out American culture! Hilarious! The film might be clichéd, but it works because it has heart. Paul Hogan came up with the story and turned himself into a household name. The love story that is the backbone of the film was genuine. Paul Hogan and Linda Kozlowski got married in real life. They divorced in 2013 but that’s beside the point. They had a genuine connection and it shows on screen, especially in the climatic scene (which is by far the best love scene set in a subway station is all of cinema).

It was a massive hit. It only had an $8.8 million budget, yet it managed to make over $328,203,506 at the box office. The film became more than a movie. It became a part of pop culture. “That’s not a knife, that’s a knife!” is one of those iconic quotes that everybody knows even if they haven’t seen it. And if you haven’t seen it yet, you should. It’s been out for almost thirty years now. Get on it.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Bidet

I used to live in Los Angeles and rented out a house that had a bidet. That was my first experience with a bidet outside of that memorable scene in Crocodile Dundee. In fact, it was only because of that movie that I even knew what a bidet was and what it was used for (“for washing your backside”). So I had a bidet in my bathroom. I had to try it and I did. I tried it a few times. I didn’t like it. It wasn’t for me. I prefer toilet paper. I would rather wipe my ass than hose it down. Bidets are classy, but they are also intimidating, especially if you have no clue how to use them. Most Americans don’t know which way to face, or if they should take their pants off to avoid splashes, or if they can pee in it. And you’re wet afterward so you still need to wipe and that kind of defeats the purpose. Whatever. To each his own.

Critically Rated at 10/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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