Tag Archives: candle

Power Outage

I’m an American of the 21st century and I rely on electricity. Sometimes the power goes out, mostly because of freak accidents involving weather or vehicles hitting utility poles, and occasionally it gets shut off because of neglected electrical bills. It’s always good to be prepared and have a flashlight or candles handy in case of an emergency. A source of light is comforting and it’s also nice to be able to see what you’re doing. Just be careful if you’re taking a piss by candlelight: dripping hot wax on your junk isn’t that fun. It burns and you’ll probably drop the candle in the toilet. When I was a kid, a power outage was a time to gather around the kitchen table playing cards and board games while eating ice cream before it melts. These days everyone gathers around the iPad, hoping it doesn’t run out of battery because then they would actually have to talk to each other. And kids are already too fat today; they don’t need any more ice cream.

Critically Rated at 9/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Candles

Billions of people rely on candles every day, from Amish families using them for light, to people celebrating their birthdays, to desperate guys attempting to be romantic. There’s no denying the staying power of flammable wax sticks. Candles used to be a necessity, one of the few ways to ward off the darkness. Now candles are almost a novelty. You mostly find them on birthday cakes and in private bathrooms. Scented candles are good for mood lighting and masking that weird smell in your room. And they are handy in emergencies. Now you can see in the dark and smell good at the same time.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Random Rants