Welcome Home Shit

Sometimes the most routine parts of your day are the most satisfying like the first cup of coffee, taking your shoes off after a long shift, and having an hour to catch up on Netflix. But nothing compares to a nice welcome home shit. A welcome home shit is the first shit you take when you come home. You’ve been holding in that Chipotle since lunchtime and your stomach is not happy with you. You know you should have used the toilet before you left work, but you hate public bathrooms. The commute home took longer than it should and the first thing you do when you open your front door is run straight to the bathroom. You put the lid up and the seat down, spin around, drop your pants, and defecate gloriously for the next few minutes. Afterward you can’t help but admire your handiwork before you give it a goodbye flush. You feel great. You feel relieved. You feel five pounds lighter. Now don’t forget to wash your hands.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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