I clipped my toenails the other night for the first time in a few weeks. I put off cutting them for a lot longer than I should have. They were starting to look like little claws. I could hear them clacking on the hardwood floor whenever I walked around the house barefoot. They would dig into my socks and hook together like Velcro. It was not a pretty sight and it was not a good feeling. Neglecting your toenails is easy to do because your feet are hardly seen (especially if you’re a guy in cold city like San Francisco). I wake up, shower, get dressed, put on some socks, put on some shoes, and head out the door. I come home ten to twelve hours later usually. Then I crack open a beer, turn on the TV, and relax. Relaxing doesn’t typically include clipping my toenails. So they get long. I don’t mean for it to happen. It just does. Don’t insult my neglected toenails. I will scratch you with them.
Critically Rated at 5/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young