A seat hopper is a person who can’t sit in one spot for more than a few minutes. They are usually creepy old guys on the bus. I saw one the other day. I was on the bus going to work and the bus was about half full so there were plenty of available seats to choose from. An old Asian guy came on, glanced at all of the open seats, and chose the seat right next to me. He saw there for a minute or two, but then he got up at the next stop, moved across the aisle, and sat down next to a young college chick. I wondered if I caused him to move by neglecting to put on deodorant or something, until he got up at the next stop, moved back across the aisle, and sat down to the guy sitting right in front of me. A few stops later he got up and went to a different spot. It was around that time that I realized that he was just a weirdo with a penchant for seat hopping. I watched him move to three more seats before he finally got off. I can only assume that he went to find another bus to sit in more seats. I think that he’s harmless, but he’ll be my top suspect if I ever sit in anything sticky on the bus.
Critically Rated at 8/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young