I got on the bus the other night, found an empty seat, and sat down. It only took me a few moments to realize that something was wrong. For starters, the ground around my seat was covered with newspapers. It wasn’t just a newspaper that some asshole left on the bus that happened to fall off the seat. The papers were all jumbled and spread out, they covered the entire floor. And I noticed some chunky liquid seeping up through the papers… somebody threw up and used newspaper to cover it up. I got up and found another seat, one that was puke-free. And then I saw a lady sit down in the puke seat. I should have said something to her, I could have warned her, but something told me that she deserved to sit there. Something about her demeanor lead me to believe that it was karma. She didn’t seem like a very enjoyable person. So I let her sit with her feet in a pile of puke for the duration of the ride. I got to my stop, walked by her towards the exit, told her about the vomit, and jumped off the bus while she hurriedly moved to another seat. People throw up on public transportation all the time, and hiding puke with newspapers seems like the easiest way to deal with the problem. Just cover it up and pretend like nothing happened.
Critically Rated at 8/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young